drugs — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

VMI 3.080910 Lord of the Spit Monkey transcript

LO DODDS: It's interesting. California, because unsolicited dick pics - pun intended...
HZ: Richard pictures, in formal.
JOY: Ha! Dude, when Helen and I launch our our porn production company, it will be called Richard Pictures.
HZ: My brother Richard's going to love that.

transcript, Season 3VMI Pod15 December 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, college, Hearst College, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 3, Katie the Monkey, Marcel from Friends, Professor Landry, Patrick Fabian, Tim Foyle, James Jordan, Lucky-In-A-Wig, Piz, Stosh Piznarski, Chris Lowell, Parker Lee, Julie Gonzalo, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Cyrus O’Dell, Ed Begley Jr, Mindy O’Dell, Jaime Ray Newman, Mercer Hayes, Ryan Devlin, Moe Flater, Andrew McClain, Deputy Sacks, Jerry Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Nish Sweeney, Chastity Dotson, Claire Nordhouse, Krista Kalmus, Fern Delgado, Cher Ferreyra, Hallie Piatt, Keri Lynn Pratt, Chip Diller, David Tom, Wilson Behan, Michael Charles Roman, Bronson Pope, Michael Mitchell, Selma Hearst Rose, Patty Hearst, Budd Rose, Charles Shaughnessy, Brant, Brian Kimmet, Roger Hearst, Scott Alan Smith, Bonnie Capistrano, Carlee Avers, Gil Thomas Pardy, Eric Jungmann, Pauline Elliot, Linara Washington, Emi, Brittany Ishibashi, Switched at Birth, Hearsts, Pi Sigs, frats, Theta Betas, sororities, Greek system, head shaving, student newspaper, paper, murder, radio, rape, drugs, GHB, spiking, spiked drinks, suicide, gunshot, kidnapping, disappearance, extortion, mischief, criminal mischief, malicious mischief, Fatboy Slim, Right Here Right Now, animal theft, missing animals, lab animals, animal testing, monkeys, rats, lab rats, science, scientists, green tea, tea, surfing, sex, infidelity, affairs, divorce, rich people problems, dogs, The Simpsons, Citizen Kane, Mr Sheffield, The Nanny, BMW, cars, phone japes, villain monologues, unicorns, Neil Diamond, Sweet Caroline, Garden State, surfers, Richard Pictures

VMI 3.050607 President Infidelity of Vice and Men transcript

HZ: What did you think about Loganica's couple Halloween costume, Jenny?
JOY: I didn't know what the fuck it was until I was just reading your notes, and now I see that they are the White Stripes for Halloween.
HZ: Yes. I'm not sure I would have noticed had I not been told, because I thought, "Is he doing Shaggy from Scooby Doo?"
JOY: Right. Like, what is that wig? The wig is not quite right.
HZ: The wigs are never right, Jenny.
JOY: The wigs are never right.
HZ: Even though she's got a whole wardrobe of wigs for her various sting operations. She makes more effort dressing up to do a sting than she does for this Halloween.
JOY: It's true. And has anybody told them that the whole thing with the White Stripes is, like, are they brother and sister or are they a couple?
HZ: Oh, that's some season one shit.
JOY: Exactly.
HZ: Get Duncan back in here!

transcript, Season 3VMI Pod8 December 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, Lo Dodds, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, college, Hearst College, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 3, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Professor Landry, Patrick Fabian, Tim Foyle, Lucky in a wig, James Jordan, Piz, Stosh Piznarski, Chris Lowell, Parker Lee, Julie Gonzalo, Max, Adam Rose, Harmony Chase, Laura San Giacomo, Vinnie Van Lowe, Ken Marino, Deputy Sacks, Jerry Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Coach Tom Barry, Matt McKenzie, Mercer Hayes, Ryan Devlin, Cyrus O’Dell, Ed Begley Jr, Mindy O’Dell, Jaime Ray Newman, Chastity Dotson, Nish Sweeney, Claire Nordhouse, Krista Kalmus, Moe Flater, Andrew McClain, Mason, Robert Ri'chard, Dianna Agron, Jenny Budosh, Professor David Winkler, Michael B Silver, Daran Norris, Cliff McCormack, Richard Grieco, Steven Batando, Jeff Ratner, David Magidoff, Taylor Sheridan, Danny Boyd, Fitzpatricks, Liam Fitzpatrick, Rodney Rowland, Detective Sanchez, Ruben C Gonzalez, Meryl, Amanda Walsh, Sully, Michael Grant Terry, LAPD, Harrison, Blake Shields, Danny Rossow, Ryan Pinkston, Rachel Rogers, Scarlett, Sandra McCoy, Tina Callis, Anna Campbell, mechanical engineering, Keith’s romances, The White Stripes, costumes, Halloween, the Dreaded Feminists, radio, bowling, River Styx, Chekhov’s things, casino, gambling, Loganica, Duncvonia, cheating, tests, exams, Twentynine Palms, 29 Palms, actors, short film, pranks, sabotage, cooking spray, accents, voicework, rape, robbery, theft, Lilly Kane, necklace, cocktails, fire, Mexico, bone marrow transplant, bone marrow, Porsche, cars, elaborate ruses, extortion, alibis, campus rapist, head shaving, GHB, drugs, physics, lasers, henleys, Samuel Horshack, Rafe, Hearst Prison Experiment, prison experiment, Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, The Big Lebowski, lighting, the robot, sexpeople, accidental porn dialogue, sandwich puppets, Weevil’s toolbox

VMI 3.020304 My Big Fat Wichita Linebacker Don't Surf transcript

JOY: I love that Piz's radio show, his first episode, is just like... Pretty much the only thing he says is, "Oh, they've got a good point, actually." And that's it. Who let this man? Who let this man? Trish. Trish did.
HZ: Yeah, well, because Trish was distracted by being dumped for her terrible plot. But the one good thing Piz does, I think - because he's an annoying, self-absorbed pest in this episode; having been reasonably endearing when introduced, in this he just seems entitled - in the debate, he says:

PIZ: Alright, let's flip a coin to see who goes first. And it's the head of a white slave-owning patriarchy, which means we will go with the gents.

JOY: "The head of a white slave-owning patriarch," maybe should have gone to the ladies?
HZ: Yeah. For reparations.
JOY: Mmm.

Season 3, transcriptVMI Pod24 November 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, college, Hearst College, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 3, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Piz, Stosh Piznarski, Chris Lowell, Parker Lee, Julie Gonzalo, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Chastity Dotson, Nish Sweeney, Chip Diller, David Tom, Tanya Chisholm, Nancy Cooper, Fern Delgado, Cher Ferreyra, Mercer Hayes, Ryan Devlin, Cyrus O’Dell, Ed Begley Jr, Claire Nordhouse, Krista Kalmus, Moe Flater, Andrew McClain, Cormac Fitzpatrick, Jason Beghe, Liam Fitzpatrick, Rodney Rowland, Fitzpatricks, Dan Castellaneta, Ryder Strong, Rafe, Armie Hammer, Laura San Giacomo, Harmony Chase, Matt Czuchry, Ryan Eggold, Charlie Stone, Norman Phipps, Trish, Lindsey McKeon, Sam Horrigan, Brian Pop Popovich, Rachelle Lefevre, Marjorie, Keri Lynn Pratt, Hallie Piatt, Robyn Richards, Shania, Samm Levine, Samuel Horshack, Karen, Mary Chris Wall, Kendall Casablancas, secret siblings, ethics, experiments, psychology, Stanford Prison Experiment, sportsball, playbook, popcorn, library, Loganica, theft, feminists, Lampoon, Vanity Fair, journalists, paparazzi, surfing, poker, gambling, Wishbone, sororities, fraternities, weed, drugs, Gone With the Wind, Scarlett O’Hara, Fluevogs, Pi Sigs, Theta Betas, Lilith House, a capella, singing, Lance Armstrong, drunk, fake drunk, Chippendales, Shelly Pomroy’s party, rat traps, Edgar Allen Poe, radio, Hearst Lampoon, student newspaper, newspaper, paper, desert, animal traps, traps, Vinnie Van Lowe, bugged pens, paintings, art, Vincent Van Gogh, Two Lovers, Keith’s romances, ties, surveillance, trackers, tracking, Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell, finances, Aaron’s Kids, Aaron’s Kidz, money, Gilmore Girls, Logan Huntzberger, shield law, carwash, journalism, streaking

VMI 2.19 Nevermind the Buttocks transcript

JOY: Weevil's locker number is 333, half of 666.
HZ: Is this like a bat signal for you, Jenny?
JOY: Yeah, hell yeah. If Weevil's locker number was 420, or 69, or 489 which is 420 plus 69...
HZ: Is that the ultimate?
JOY: That'd be pretty tight, but 333 is also worth noting.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod15 September 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Harry, Tommy Snider, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Butters, Vincent Clemmons, Adam Hendershott, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Principal Clemmons, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Billy, Matt Bush, Liam Fitzpatrick, Rodney Rowland, bus crash, Cervando, Fitzpatricks, dogs, Lilly Kane, Thumper, grifters, false identity, Duncan Kane, Lilly Kane’s murder, sex tapes, sex, Chekhov, Princess Mombi, Return to Oz, insurance, life insurance, Richard Casablancas, snakes, biology, car alarms, prom, Anarchist’s Cookbook, Accidental Porn Dialogue, Neptune Navigator, PCHers, John Wick, Kendall Shiflett, Priscilla Banks, henley, paddle, claddagh rings, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, stereotypically Irish things, fights, Action Keith, drugs, drug dealing, laughter, fake laughter, laughing, wire fraud, Oscars, Aaron Echolls, murder weapon, false evidence, Chekhov’s shower drain hair

VMI 2.08 Ahoy, Mateys! transcript

HZ: She's angry at Logan as well for carrying a gun, because she's scared that he's gonna get killed. He's in a reckless mood. He was like, "It's all right, the gun's not loaded, and it was a present from Dick's dad." Like, what a comfort.
JOY: First of all, why is Mr Casablancas running around just doling out guns? He's like, "Oh, it's Halloween, trick or treat, here’s a fucking firearm."
HZ: Well he was probably like, "Logan, you're like an extra son to me. Have one of my precious guns." They had a good time at the range. Also maybe he was like, "This is not going to fit through the shredder, you'd better have it."

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod26 May 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, Brad Bufanda, bus crash, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, drugs, Wanna Score Boy, Lucas Grabeel, Marcos Oliveres, Carlos Oliveres, David Barrera, Maria Oliveres, Norma Maldonado, harassment, Danny Boyd, Taylor Sheridan, Tom Griffith, Rick Peters, Liam Fitzpatrick, Rod Rowland, River Stix, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Cindy Mackenzie, Vice-Principal Clemmons, Van Clemmons, Vincent Clemmons, Butters, Duane Daniels, tattoos, violence, pirate radio, guns, firearms, dreams, dream sequences, Dreaming Duncan, PCHers, Thumper, fighting, stitches, surgery, bars, Lucky Charms, fuckboy, fuccboi, fuccJOI, fuckJOI, sweatpants, Switched At Birth, school TV station, email, photoshop, Ned, neighbours, chocolate milk, fishsticks, fish tank, fish food, reverb mic, microphones, mayhem, aggravated mayhem, torture, LGBTQ, gay, homophobia, ankle tag, ankle monitor, tasers, Ferris wheels, the Zipper, Molly Fitzpatrick

VMI 1.21 A Trip to the Dentist transcript

HZ: In Vegas, Keith's guest Cheyenne arrives wearing a black dress with charm chains draped over the shoulders. Keith's hotel is quite beige and drab, and also, the TV is angled so you can't watch it in bed. What the fuck? What piece of shit hotel would do this to you? What is the point?
JOY: Yeah, that is cruel and unusual punishment.
HZ: Keith's still kind of in caring dad mode, asking Cheyenne if she's hungry.

KEITH: Are you hungry or anything?
CHEYENNE: I think not having to buy me dinner first is kind of the point. Why don’t you come sit over here with me and relax, okay?
KEITH: Well, maybe we could go sit out on the balcony.
CHEYENNE: You’re still gonna be married on the balcony. Now. I want you to tell me exactly what you want. That one thing you can never get the little woman to do. And we’ll start there.
KEITH: Actually, I’d like to start by talking about Abel Koontz.

HZ: Wow, Keith, that is one hell of a kink. Bet she doesn't get that request often.
JOY: “The little woman just won't discuss Abel Koontz and the Lilly Kane murder with me the way I'd like.”

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod28 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, drugs, rape, alcohol, intoxication, sexual assault, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Sean, Luke, Casey, Jonathan Bennett, Rashomon, spycams, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Cheyenne, sex workers, Cuba, Las Vegas, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Teddy Dunn, Duncan Kane, Leighton Meester, Carrie Bishop, cameos, spit, drinks, parties, Shelly Pomroy, Shelly Pomroy’s party, GHB, liquid X, beards, facial hair, surfing, surfboards, theme song, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B Duncan, reward, Divinyls, I Touch Myself, allergies, Veronica's car, friendship, hotels, Echolls house, Inappropriately Sassy Duncan, Powersave Duncan, punch, Chekhov's thing, sugar, spitting, sets, set dressing, curtains, Aaron Echolls's face all over his house, pool house, air vents, hidden cameras, surveillance, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, car chalk, cars, drinking, Abel Koontz, wiretapping, Sean Friedrich

VMI 1.20 M.A.D. transcript

HZ: In the background of the Echolls living room, there's a cabinet containing many framed photos of Aaron. We're used to that from the set dressing, but also a bunch of awards, including two Oscars.

JOY: Damn, I missed that. What do you think those are for?

HZ: I don't know, because I thought they'd built up Aaron to be quite a shit actor, just doing these crappy action films and sequels.

JOY: I was wondering if - when they they said that when Veronica later says that she got caught making out by the star of Breaking Point and Breaking Point 2, I was wondering if that was supposed to be a Point Break reference, if Aaron was supposed to be a Patrick Swayze type.

HZ: Maybe one of the awards is for Dance Dirty and Dance Dirty 2 then.

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod20 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Jeff D’Agostino, Beaver, Cassidy Casablancas, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Kyle Gallner, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Carmen, Tad, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B Duncan, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, boats, awful guys of Neptune, tattoos, humiliation, phones, cellphones, video, revenge, vengeance, sex tape, drugs, Keith's romances, sex, revenge porn, sex shaming, Toxic Neptune, cars, videos, incriminating videos, entrapment, Missing Duncan, passports, eBay, escape plans, prom, homophobia, military, navy, dances, LGBTQ, Boy George, Seth, ecstasy, Troy, hair, guys that suck, Paris Hilton, Star Wars Kid, memes, viral videos, Ghyslain Raza, sleeveless henley, clothes, jackets, fashion, clothing, rotatokissing, Oscars, awards, set dressing, Echolls home, Point Break, Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing, surfing, Mexico, cheerleaders, surf and chicks fest, dog names, dogs, A Dog Named Boo, songs, music, LoVe, Loganica, Finding out true love is blind, Louis XIV, lyrics, bad songs, novelty hats, boardwalk, hats, photos, photobooth, photoshop, framing, websites, graphic design, long lens, drug dealing, chicken kiev, Chevy Impala, Tijuana, motels, accents, swingles, Mr Heinrich, costumes, costuming, Catalina Island, sailing, dates, dating, Chinatown, newspaper, paper, serving, lawsuits, divorce, Lianne Mars, Albacore Club, Tuna Club of Avalon, legal proceedings, legal procedure, Loretta Cancun, Ameenah Kaplan, Cliff, Cliff McCormack, dance, tricking a hotel receptionist, props, Felix, Shelly Pomroy's party, nonconsensual drugging, nonconsensual intoxication, GHB, crapface, emotional abuse, coercion, hot tub, lighting, Kane Software, bugs, houseplants, roofies, rohypnol

VMI 1.18 Weapons of Class Destruction transcript

HZ: Veronica visits the website killemall. Jenny, please describe what you see, because we watched the episode together and she screamed for minutes upon sight of this thing.
JR: Tell me all about it.
JOY: Oh my god, it's like a ticking countdown clock, and I think there's like a demonic laugh that happens right when the page loads and it's like, “Hahahahaha," it's counting down. I also think there's like a some kind of demonic visage somewhere on the page. It’s like “Something demonic is gonna happen in 48 hours and 15 minutes and 22 seconds, suckers.”
JR: It's great. It's great stuff. Beautiful design, I love the red, it really pops.
JOY: It really pops.
JR: Love that font, it is like borderline Papyrus, I think.
JOY: Like evil Papyrus.
JR: Yeah, Demonic Papyrus.
HZ: I used that on my wedding invitations.

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod7 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, Joanna Robinson, special guest, Leo D’Amato, Deputy Leo, Max Greenfield, Veronica’s boyfriends, Veronica’s romances, Corny, Miss Dent, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Joey Lauren Adams, Chasing Amy, Michael McMillian, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Home Improvement, wigs, hair, drugs, bombs, bomb dogs, bomb squad, Theo Rossi, Sons of Anarchy, Norris, Ben, throwing stars, Kurosawa, weapons, swords, web, websites, internet, wifi, Mac, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Keith's romances, dating, romance, kissing, kisses, kiss, popcorn, Van Clemmons, Vice Principal Clemmons, Duane Daniels, undercover agents, Miss Roush, Veronica's voices, journalism, papers, newspapers, media, Tiger Beat, punching, punches, violence, face punching, fertilizer, lies, Heathers, Jason Dean, Christian Slater, mullets, Storm Warning, Ginger Rogers, Doris Day, Ronald Reagan, The Crucible, dogs, sniffer dogs, fonts, Papyrus, web design, Meg Manning, Duncan Kane, Alona Tal, Teddy Dunn, passports, disappearing Duncan, Mannequin, problematic faves, cars, Nissan Xterra, Camelot motel, Logan's clothes, LoVe, Braveheart, Taut Blondes, ATF, ATF agents, 21 Jump Street, Miss Stafford, pep, Switched At Birth, expired passports, escape, absconding, guest stars, Tina Majorino, Miss Murphy

VMI 1.05: You Think You Know Somebody transcript

HZ: They leave the diner. It's still dark. They're still bantering about girls and - oh shit. Where's the car? Where's the car?
JOY: Where is the car? The car is gone as hell.
HZ: But what is amazing about this is that Logan says:

LOGAN: Well maybe it's like Brigadoon. If you come back in a hundred years, it'll be right back in this spot.

HZ: When did Logan watch the 1954 film or 1947 Broadway musical Brigadoon, about a Scottish village that only appears for one day every hundred years and the plot makes absolutely no sense at all? This seems like a deep cut.
JOY: That's what Brigadoon is about?
HZ: That's what Brigadoon is about. I would explain more but it's just too complicated. So yeah, where did Logan get that reference? Do you think you watched it with his grandma?
JOY: This is a mystery. This is yet another mystery of the show.
HZ: And of Logan.
JOY: It doesn't really line up with his deal.
HZ: He contains multitudes.