dances — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

JOY: Now that you've agreed to go to prom with me, Helen, but prom has been cancelled, could I interest you in a trip to the batting cages? A little batting cage romance?
HZ: It sounds a little sporty, Jenny.
JOY: A little drive through the Taco Bell drive-through? A little visit to Dairy Queen for some Blizzards afterwards? That's on par with prom.
HZ: Alright, yeah. What's the dress code?
JOY: Yeah, what is the dress code?
HZ: Are you going to get sick eating dairy? That would be very sad.
JOY: I would order a Blizzard and just stare at it in solidarity with you.
HZ: That's terrible. Could we go somewhere where you could eat the things?
JOY: OK, well, we'll just have to see what's near the batting cages, I guess everything kind of hinges on that.
HZ: Oh, so we still have to go to the batting cages?
JOY: Sorry, yes.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod22 September 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Butters, Vincent Clemmons, Adam Hendershott, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Principal Clemmons, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Tommy Dohanic, Lucky, James Jordan, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Leo D’Amato, Max Greenfield, Lloyd Blankenship, Steve Rankin, prom, parties, dances, alterna-prom, Camelot Motel, stalking, stalker, incorporation, doctor, chlamydia, STIs, decor, Loganica, Aaron Echolls, Lilly Kane’s murder, Lilly Kane, murder weapons, Oscars, set dressing, art, hospital, medical, party pig, Can’t Get You Out of My Head, Kylie Minogue, Pan High, French bulldogs, Boston terriers, dogs, batting cages, brownies, Neptune Grand, accidental porn dialogue in Veronica Mars, chest hair, body hair, slander, libel, Cliff’s briefcase, bail, Manning parents, Stewart Manning, throwing a game, booze, drinks, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen

Special Investigation: Pride and Prejudice transcript

JOY: For 40 percent of my grade, I am going to attempt to tell you what happened in Pride and Prejudice.
HZ: I'm so excited to finally learn what happens in Pride and Prejudice...
JOY: Well, I mean...
HZ: …through the prism of Jenny Owen Youngs's mind.
JOY: You've never seen Pride and Prejudice quite like this. And content note, this episode of Veronica Mars Investigations contains heavy themes and bonnets.

special episode, transcriptVMI Pod28 April 2020recap, TV, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, novels, special episode, bonus, literature, BBC, miniseries, 1995, Colin Firth, Jennifer Ehle, Mr Darcy, Lizzie Bennet, Elizabeth Bennet, Lydia Bennet, Julia Sawalha, Alison Steadman, Benjamin Whitrow, Mr Collins, Lady Catherine De Bourgh, fancy houses, period dramas, Regency, marriage, balls, dances, dancing, etiquette, Emilia Fox, Anna Chancellor, romance, Adrian Lukis, Mr Bingley, Crispin Bonham-Carter, Lucy Davis, Susannah Harker, 19th century, bonnets, wet shirt, soggy Darcy, top hats, cravats, tiny jackets, Pemberley, Wickham, cads, courtship, patriarchy, family, daughters, cousins, Derbyshire, wedlock, bad trousers, front butt trousers, Mary Bennet, Kitty Bennet, Mozart, Turkish Rondo, sexpeople, entailment, heirs, property, negging, class, wealth, hierarchy, David Bamber, soldiers, military, regiment, Brighton, weddings, Pride and JOY

VMI 2-05 Blast from the Past transcript

JOY: I just googled ‘Celebrity Boners and Gaffes’ -
HZ: No, no — no Jenny! Delete all the cookies!
JOY:There is a seemingly endless list of articles from mostly BuzzFeed, In Touch, some other websites and news outlets. Here are some sample article titles: "Celebrities who've had erections during sex scenes". "31 celebrity bulges that went hard in 2015". "The 21 most important celebrity bulges of all time". "Boner alert! Nine celebrities who have had boners in public". "Boner alert! Make America bulge again".
HZ: Argh.
JOY: "13 celebrity dudes who aren't afraid to show off their goods". I've googled it, so you don't have to.
HZ: Thanks, Jenny.
JOY: Ugh. You're welcome.
HZ: How do you know I hadn't already? (I hadn't.) So no gaffes, just boners?
JOY: No gaffes, just boners.
HZ: Gaffes are less popular than boners, I guess.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod21 April 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Mars Investigations, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Manning parents, Mannings, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Cora, Dana Davis, Christine Estabrook, psychic, Madame Sophie, Mr Wu, Mrs Murphy, Corny, Mandy, sheriff race, Wallace’s dad, Fennel family, Hank Fennel, grief, TV psychic, fraud, fake psychic, pranks, punking, dances, dance, dancing, Homecoming, The Faders, narcotics, Keithlicia, secrets, lies, deceit, Mamma-max, Mammamax, betrayal, sabotage, shaming, embarrassment, bugs, literal bugs, surveillance, gambling, betting, baseball, match fixing, sports, Duncvonica, toilet office, Tricky Wicks, unicorns, Black Eyed Peas, Elephunk, jackets, chicken suit, Cupid, Sunset and Vaughn, Celebrity Boners and Gaffes, boners, lighting, red lights, Zippy the Pinhead, Yankees, Pete Rose, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Hall of Fame

VMI 1.20 M.A.D. transcript

HZ: In the background of the Echolls living room, there's a cabinet containing many framed photos of Aaron. We're used to that from the set dressing, but also a bunch of awards, including two Oscars.

JOY: Damn, I missed that. What do you think those are for?

HZ: I don't know, because I thought they'd built up Aaron to be quite a shit actor, just doing these crappy action films and sequels.

JOY: I was wondering if - when they they said that when Veronica later says that she got caught making out by the star of Breaking Point and Breaking Point 2, I was wondering if that was supposed to be a Point Break reference, if Aaron was supposed to be a Patrick Swayze type.

HZ: Maybe one of the awards is for Dance Dirty and Dance Dirty 2 then.

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod20 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Jeff D’Agostino, Beaver, Cassidy Casablancas, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Kyle Gallner, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Carmen, Tad, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B Duncan, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, boats, awful guys of Neptune, tattoos, humiliation, phones, cellphones, video, revenge, vengeance, sex tape, drugs, Keith's romances, sex, revenge porn, sex shaming, Toxic Neptune, cars, videos, incriminating videos, entrapment, Missing Duncan, passports, eBay, escape plans, prom, homophobia, military, navy, dances, LGBTQ, Boy George, Seth, ecstasy, Troy, hair, guys that suck, Paris Hilton, Star Wars Kid, memes, viral videos, Ghyslain Raza, sleeveless henley, clothes, jackets, fashion, clothing, rotatokissing, Oscars, awards, set dressing, Echolls home, Point Break, Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing, surfing, Mexico, cheerleaders, surf and chicks fest, dog names, dogs, A Dog Named Boo, songs, music, LoVe, Loganica, Finding out true love is blind, Louis XIV, lyrics, bad songs, novelty hats, boardwalk, hats, photos, photobooth, photoshop, framing, websites, graphic design, long lens, drug dealing, chicken kiev, Chevy Impala, Tijuana, motels, accents, swingles, Mr Heinrich, costumes, costuming, Catalina Island, sailing, dates, dating, Chinatown, newspaper, paper, serving, lawsuits, divorce, Lianne Mars, Albacore Club, Tuna Club of Avalon, legal proceedings, legal procedure, Loretta Cancun, Ameenah Kaplan, Cliff, Cliff McCormack, dance, tricking a hotel receptionist, props, Felix, Shelly Pomroy's party, nonconsensual drugging, nonconsensual intoxication, GHB, crapface, emotional abuse, coercion, hot tub, lighting, Kane Software, bugs, houseplants, roofies, rohypnol

VMI 1.15 Ruskie Business transcript

HZ: Meg has got a secret admirer. She's narrowed it down to two guys. Someone sweet but moony called Martin, or someone called Caz who's flirty, but he would flirt with a trashcan if it had boobs.
JOY: Trying to picture a trash can with boobs. Hang on one second.
HZ: Pretty sexy.
JOY: Okay, please go on. I'm ready.
HZ: But Meg needs to find out who, because it could be her soulmate - there's a lot of soulmate chat this episode.
JOY: Meg, you're 16, you barely even have a soul let alone its mate. Her soul is still baking!
HZ: You're basically a trash can with boobs!

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod3 December 2019Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, legal, season 1, Neptune High, Max Greenfield, Deputy Leo, Leo D'Amato, Pretty In Pink, 1980s, eighties, Duckie, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Madonna, Trina Echolls, Alyson Hannigan, Risky Business, Tom Cruz, Tom Cruise, WITSEC, witness protection, state’s evidence, Steuben glass, egg, Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler, Valentine’s Day, dancing, dances, Valentines, Lynn Echolls, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, dating, relationships, romance, love, phones, texts, text messages, postcards, Russians, jocks, Caz, Martin, show homes, trash can with boobs, Chupa Chups, lollipops, Cynthia LaMontagne, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffonica, jockstraps, parties, Jill Straps, flowers, Manny the florist, Catarina Lenova, dogs, catahoula leopard dogs, dog breeds, Detective Wallace, accents, English accents, Charley Mossman, pets, dingos, ocelots, porcupines, threeways, state dogs, state animals, Idyllwild, Mayor Max, golden retrievers, Karl, sketch artist, Scott Michael Morgan, Bluths, Bluth family, Arrested Development, attraction, makeovers, Ian Somerhalder, Wang Chung, Lianne Mars, Barstow, Neptune geography, Clarence Wiedman

VMI 1.04: The Wrath of Con transcript

JOY: Well, this episode begins in the way that I've always hoped and dreamed, with Veronica and Troy making out.
HZ: Outside the Mars front door, which I would have thought would be tricked out with bear traps and things that could detect Veronica kissing boys.
JOY: Yeah, yeah, like heat sensors. Maybe Keith on the other side of the door with like a stethoscope.
HZ: The heat sensor is showing exactly how much erection the boy has got.
JOY: Oh my god!
HZ: Keith goes there! He's a details guy.
JOY: That's true.