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VMI 3.050607 President Infidelity of Vice and Men transcript

HZ: What did you think about Loganica's couple Halloween costume, Jenny?
JOY: I didn't know what the fuck it was until I was just reading your notes, and now I see that they are the White Stripes for Halloween.
HZ: Yes. I'm not sure I would have noticed had I not been told, because I thought, "Is he doing Shaggy from Scooby Doo?"
JOY: Right. Like, what is that wig? The wig is not quite right.
HZ: The wigs are never right, Jenny.
JOY: The wigs are never right.
HZ: Even though she's got a whole wardrobe of wigs for her various sting operations. She makes more effort dressing up to do a sting than she does for this Halloween.
JOY: It's true. And has anybody told them that the whole thing with the White Stripes is, like, are they brother and sister or are they a couple?
HZ: Oh, that's some season one shit.
JOY: Exactly.
HZ: Get Duncan back in here!

transcript, Season 3VMI Pod8 December 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, Lo Dodds, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, college, Hearst College, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 3, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Professor Landry, Patrick Fabian, Tim Foyle, Lucky in a wig, James Jordan, Piz, Stosh Piznarski, Chris Lowell, Parker Lee, Julie Gonzalo, Max, Adam Rose, Harmony Chase, Laura San Giacomo, Vinnie Van Lowe, Ken Marino, Deputy Sacks, Jerry Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Coach Tom Barry, Matt McKenzie, Mercer Hayes, Ryan Devlin, Cyrus O’Dell, Ed Begley Jr, Mindy O’Dell, Jaime Ray Newman, Chastity Dotson, Nish Sweeney, Claire Nordhouse, Krista Kalmus, Moe Flater, Andrew McClain, Mason, Robert Ri'chard, Dianna Agron, Jenny Budosh, Professor David Winkler, Michael B Silver, Daran Norris, Cliff McCormack, Richard Grieco, Steven Batando, Jeff Ratner, David Magidoff, Taylor Sheridan, Danny Boyd, Fitzpatricks, Liam Fitzpatrick, Rodney Rowland, Detective Sanchez, Ruben C Gonzalez, Meryl, Amanda Walsh, Sully, Michael Grant Terry, LAPD, Harrison, Blake Shields, Danny Rossow, Ryan Pinkston, Rachel Rogers, Scarlett, Sandra McCoy, Tina Callis, Anna Campbell, mechanical engineering, Keith’s romances, The White Stripes, costumes, Halloween, the Dreaded Feminists, radio, bowling, River Styx, Chekhov’s things, casino, gambling, Loganica, Duncvonia, cheating, tests, exams, Twentynine Palms, 29 Palms, actors, short film, pranks, sabotage, cooking spray, accents, voicework, rape, robbery, theft, Lilly Kane, necklace, cocktails, fire, Mexico, bone marrow transplant, bone marrow, Porsche, cars, elaborate ruses, extortion, alibis, campus rapist, head shaving, GHB, drugs, physics, lasers, henleys, Samuel Horshack, Rafe, Hearst Prison Experiment, prison experiment, Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, The Big Lebowski, lighting, the robot, sexpeople, accidental porn dialogue, sandwich puppets, Weevil’s toolbox

VMI 2.21 Happy Go Lucky transcript

JOY: I was so busy thinking about Weevil and math together.
HZ: Yeah? That doing it for you?
JOY: Yes. Two of my favourite things, Weevil and algebra. Math that I understand.
HZ: I didn't know you were into algebra. There's so much I still have to learn about you.
JOY: I mean, it's not like my passion, but if I had a workbook right now...
HZ: You could algebra the shit out of it.
JOY: I would absolutely do it to take the edge off anything to distract me from the yawning void just outside of my peripheral vision.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod6 October 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Tommy Dohanic, Lucky, James Jordan, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Ethan Lavoie, John Prosky, Gay Storm, Annie Hinton, Don Worley, Hart, Mike Gaarde, bus crash, murder, death, assault, shooting, guns, blanks, child abuse, sexual abuse, sexual offenses, statutory rape, trauma, courtroom, trials, court cases, lawyers, shitty lawyers, jury, prosecution, defense, attorneys, judges, legal procedure, alibis, evidence, subpoena, Leo D’Amato, Duncan Kane, Marcos Oliveres, Peter Lilly Kane, Lilly Kane’s murder, bullshit, chlamydia, Thumper, Thumper’s murder, math, algebra, quadratic equations, veterans, war, People Magazine, Sexiest Man Alive, Kane scholarship, chia pets, press, batboys, passwords, cars, keying cars, lighting, computers, finals, exams, tests, Mannings, accidental porn, masks, catcher’s mask, bleach, email, MySpace, incorporation, objection, breakfast, mugshots, private plane, flight plans, monologuing, immunity, witnesses, shitnesses, POWER KEITH

VMI 2.14 Versatile Toppings transcript

JOY: When Lamb is clearly going to be difficult, and Keith hands him the CD to essentially blackmail him, Lamb crosses his fingers and says, "I really hope it's the new Big & Rich." Helen, do you know, are you familiar with the musical artists Big & Rich?
HZ: I'm not, Jenny. Should I?
JOY: Well, they are, I think, best-known for their country smashola ‘Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy’.
HZ: That doesn't work.
JOY: That's about sex. ‘Have sex with a cowboy.’
HZ: "Don't fuck a horse," OK, what a message.
JOY: Listen! You have to hold two layers in your mind at the same time. "Don't ride a horse regular. Instead, fuck a cowboy."
HZ: "Take a cowboy to the races, and see if they can handle the jumps"?
JOY: Just make sure you only have one headphone in at any time.
HZ: I just don't think this analogy works, Jenny.
JOY: Helen, I feel like you're missing the spirit of modern American country music.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod21 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Hannah Griffith, Jessy Schram, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Tom Griffith, Rick Peters, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Kristin Cavallari, Kylie, Lucas Grabeel, Kelly Kuzzio, Carmen Ruiz, Natalia Baron, Tina Majorino, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Corny, Jonathan Chesner, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Ryan, Bradford William Anderson, Marlena, Arturo, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, extortion, gambling, debt, bus crash, Felix’s murder, Fitzpatricks, Felix Toombs, LGBTQ+, pizza, taser, muggings, blackmail, gay, lesbian, LGBTQIA, queer, outing, coming out, outed, rims, cars, explosives, helicopter, Woody Goodman, Laguna Beach, casino, websites, messageboards, forums, pirate shit, Cho’s Pizza, za, chatrooms, Pirate SHIP, secrets, printouts, strawberry soda, The Human Centipede, phone, caller ID, Starsailor, Bentley, Flintstones car, Big & Rich, alibis

VMI 1.22 Leave It To Beaver transcript

HZ: Veronica's not avoiding Logan today.
JOY: No, even though she's supposed to be I think steering clear from him she can't resist going in for a little no-costume undercover work pretending to still be into it so that she can see what he has to say for himself.
HZ: Yeah, right. We know that she's shitting him, for some reason.
JOY: I'm sorry - "shitting him"?
HZ: Yeah, do you not say that in America?
JOY: Oh, like like she's like lying to them or playing him or something? Like "you gotta be shitting me."
HZ: Right. Exactly. She's shittting him. But he doesn't know he's being shat.
JOY: See, this really starts to fall apart once you start conjugating.
HZ: Does it? You knew what I meant! He is beshat.

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod4 February 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, PCHers, Jake Kane, Kyle Secor, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, murder, tapes, secrets, secret tapes, sex tapes, fire, arson, fridges, Backup, car crash, fighting, fights, Keith Mars to the rescue, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, rewards, theft, cheques, checks, Hrishikesh Hirway, Song Exploder, The West Wing Weekly, Steve Rankin, Lloyd Blankenship, Cheyenne, sex workers, Abel Koontz, newspapers, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Beaver, DNA tests, DNA results, paternity tests, onions, chopping onions, music, food, nice Chianti, parents, family, families, parenting, disguises, servers, cater waiters, Republicans, parties, another grim dinner at the Kane house, alcoholism, Cliff, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, voices, Cliff's voice, lawsuits, suing, Kane fortune, print media, props, eavesdropping, eavesdroppers, appearing behind things, CSS, toilet office, breakups, breaking up, Keithlicia, jackets, set dressing, waterproof Santa, Garfield, lighting, Leave It To Beaver, alibis, red herrings, Garbage, Bad Boyfriend, shit, linguistics, gay for Weevil, Leo D'Amato, Barry Randall, soul patch, facial hair, Deputy Sacks, the one phone call, hiding places, Marses in disguise, crab puffs, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arnie, doors, traumacoaster, Spice Girls, Wannabe, video, sex hut, curtains, LeBaron, Veronica's car, Joan of Arc, walkie talkies, plastic horse, killing, goofs, stunt doubles, Blankenship, Lil Kim