surveillance — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

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VMI 3.020304 My Big Fat Wichita Linebacker Don't Surf transcript

JOY: I love that Piz's radio show, his first episode, is just like... Pretty much the only thing he says is, "Oh, they've got a good point, actually." And that's it. Who let this man? Who let this man? Trish. Trish did.
HZ: Yeah, well, because Trish was distracted by being dumped for her terrible plot. But the one good thing Piz does, I think - because he's an annoying, self-absorbed pest in this episode; having been reasonably endearing when introduced, in this he just seems entitled - in the debate, he says:

PIZ: Alright, let's flip a coin to see who goes first. And it's the head of a white slave-owning patriarchy, which means we will go with the gents.

JOY: "The head of a white slave-owning patriarch," maybe should have gone to the ladies?
HZ: Yeah. For reparations.
JOY: Mmm.

Season 3, transcriptVMI Pod24 November 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, college, Hearst College, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 3, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Piz, Stosh Piznarski, Chris Lowell, Parker Lee, Julie Gonzalo, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Chastity Dotson, Nish Sweeney, Chip Diller, David Tom, Tanya Chisholm, Nancy Cooper, Fern Delgado, Cher Ferreyra, Mercer Hayes, Ryan Devlin, Cyrus O’Dell, Ed Begley Jr, Claire Nordhouse, Krista Kalmus, Moe Flater, Andrew McClain, Cormac Fitzpatrick, Jason Beghe, Liam Fitzpatrick, Rodney Rowland, Fitzpatricks, Dan Castellaneta, Ryder Strong, Rafe, Armie Hammer, Laura San Giacomo, Harmony Chase, Matt Czuchry, Ryan Eggold, Charlie Stone, Norman Phipps, Trish, Lindsey McKeon, Sam Horrigan, Brian Pop Popovich, Rachelle Lefevre, Marjorie, Keri Lynn Pratt, Hallie Piatt, Robyn Richards, Shania, Samm Levine, Samuel Horshack, Karen, Mary Chris Wall, Kendall Casablancas, secret siblings, ethics, experiments, psychology, Stanford Prison Experiment, sportsball, playbook, popcorn, library, Loganica, theft, feminists, Lampoon, Vanity Fair, journalists, paparazzi, surfing, poker, gambling, Wishbone, sororities, fraternities, weed, drugs, Gone With the Wind, Scarlett O’Hara, Fluevogs, Pi Sigs, Theta Betas, Lilith House, a capella, singing, Lance Armstrong, drunk, fake drunk, Chippendales, Shelly Pomroy’s party, rat traps, Edgar Allen Poe, radio, Hearst Lampoon, student newspaper, newspaper, paper, desert, animal traps, traps, Vinnie Van Lowe, bugged pens, paintings, art, Vincent Van Gogh, Two Lovers, Keith’s romances, ties, surveillance, trackers, tracking, Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell, finances, Aaron’s Kids, Aaron’s Kidz, money, Gilmore Girls, Logan Huntzberger, shield law, carwash, journalism, streaking

VMI 2-05 Blast from the Past transcript

JOY: I just googled ‘Celebrity Boners and Gaffes’ -
HZ: No, no — no Jenny! Delete all the cookies!
JOY:There is a seemingly endless list of articles from mostly BuzzFeed, In Touch, some other websites and news outlets. Here are some sample article titles: "Celebrities who've had erections during sex scenes". "31 celebrity bulges that went hard in 2015". "The 21 most important celebrity bulges of all time". "Boner alert! Nine celebrities who have had boners in public". "Boner alert! Make America bulge again".
HZ: Argh.
JOY: "13 celebrity dudes who aren't afraid to show off their goods". I've googled it, so you don't have to.
HZ: Thanks, Jenny.
JOY: Ugh. You're welcome.
HZ: How do you know I hadn't already? (I hadn't.) So no gaffes, just boners?
JOY: No gaffes, just boners.
HZ: Gaffes are less popular than boners, I guess.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod21 April 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Mars Investigations, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Manning parents, Mannings, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Cora, Dana Davis, Christine Estabrook, psychic, Madame Sophie, Mr Wu, Mrs Murphy, Corny, Mandy, sheriff race, Wallace’s dad, Fennel family, Hank Fennel, grief, TV psychic, fraud, fake psychic, pranks, punking, dances, dance, dancing, Homecoming, The Faders, narcotics, Keithlicia, secrets, lies, deceit, Mamma-max, Mammamax, betrayal, sabotage, shaming, embarrassment, bugs, literal bugs, surveillance, gambling, betting, baseball, match fixing, sports, Duncvonica, toilet office, Tricky Wicks, unicorns, Black Eyed Peas, Elephunk, jackets, chicken suit, Cupid, Sunset and Vaughn, Celebrity Boners and Gaffes, boners, lighting, red lights, Zippy the Pinhead, Yankees, Pete Rose, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Hall of Fame

VMI 2-04 Green-Eyed Monster transcript

VERONICA on phone: Have you had dinner?
DUNCAN: No, I'm tired of room service. [Opens door: it’s Veronica, holding up a bag of food.]
VERONICA: Then may I suggest dim sum, and then some?

JOY: Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Ew. OK, I'm going to say this, and then I need to go get some Listerine. "Dim sum and then some"?

HZ: It gets worse. It gets worse, Jenny.

DUNCAN: What if we start the evening with ‘and then some’ and work our way back to the dim sum?
VERONICA: It's officially under consideration. May I ask you something first?
DUNCAN: Yes to costumes, no to props. Does that cover it?

JOY: Helennnnn!
HZ: Veronica does have a lot of costumes, but her props are bugs and tasers. So I can understand why he didn't want to use those.
JOY: Yeah, I guess. I guess that makes sense.
HZ: Then Veronica ruins the dim sum and then some, or the then some and then dim sum that Duncan's angling for, by saying, "Why didn't you tell me how often you'd been visiting Meg since the accident?" And it's hard to carry on the sexy chat after that kind of line.
JOY: Yeah. It's not great.
HZ: She's really done the roleplay badly there.
JOY: Yeah.
HZ: “I'm roleplaying as one of the Manning parents.”
JOY: Ugh. Sick.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod14 April 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Mars Investigations, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Curly Moran, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Manning parents, Mannings, Lizzie Manning, Anastasia Baranova, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Laura Bell Bundy, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Geoff Manning, Julie Bloch, Colin Nevin, Michael E Rodgers, Scottish, Scotland, grifting, honeytrapping, entrapment, Nicolas Cage, Nic Cage, Lisa Marie Presley, Java the Hut, Neptune Onlyplace, trust, lies, relationships, romance, converting to Judaism, Judaism, engagement, surveillance, jealousy, secrets, wealth, accents, Veronica’s disguises, earrings, tiny cardigans, cardigans, clothes, costumes, what the fuck is that garment, money, castles, time travel, Outlander, handkerchiefs, cars, scotch, Kato Kaelin, sandwiches, donuts, doughnuts, dim sum, dim sum and then some, Miss James, The Big Lebowski, clamps, boots, getting booted, getting clamped, trunk, bonnet, hood, boot, Cherie Parker Saunders, Cherie, Vin Diesel, Grace Manning, ICU, Planet Zowie, computers, laptops, Chesty Duncan, Martha Stewart, Judge Wapner, Cervando, Fitzpatricks, Fighting Fitzpatricks, trespass, police

VMI 2.03 Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang transcript

HZ: I have two other reasons that I think account for Veronica's hostility. One is: I think she senses that Jackie is a sexperson. She has already said in the previous episode that she hasn't dated a high school guy since eighth grade. She makes reference to actors she's been out with. She's a sexperson. But I think the true reason she dislikes Jackie is because Jackie also wears tiny jackets.
JOY: Tiny jacket competition. They have to have a tiny jacket-off.
HZ: Who's got the tiniest jacket? And also, Jackie's name is so close to ‘jacket’.
JOY: Wow. Yes. Also really regretting saying 'tiny jacket-off'.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod6 April 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Curly Moran, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Duncvonica, Richard Casablancas, David Starzyk, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Mr Pope, Michael Kostroff, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Chicago, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, novels, literature, period drama, Colin Firth, Mr Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet, hotel jazz, jazz, karaoke, Courtney Taylor-Taylor, crimes against music, songs, Love Hurts, prenups, infidelity, sex, sexpeople, gym, long lens, surveillance, scams, property, property scams, illegal, helicopters, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Future Business Leaders of America, REITs, finances, shares, punching, fighting, boats, milk, milkshakes, milky drinks, Aaron Echolls, Echolls home, stunts, stuntman, police badge, Neptune Onlyplace, Java The Hut, Twin Peaks, Dandy Warhols, Lars, William Burroughs, Mystic Pizza, Sandpiper, hotels, fraud, theft, teapots, FBLA

VMI 1.21 A Trip to the Dentist transcript

HZ: In Vegas, Keith's guest Cheyenne arrives wearing a black dress with charm chains draped over the shoulders. Keith's hotel is quite beige and drab, and also, the TV is angled so you can't watch it in bed. What the fuck? What piece of shit hotel would do this to you? What is the point?
JOY: Yeah, that is cruel and unusual punishment.
HZ: Keith's still kind of in caring dad mode, asking Cheyenne if she's hungry.

KEITH: Are you hungry or anything?
CHEYENNE: I think not having to buy me dinner first is kind of the point. Why don’t you come sit over here with me and relax, okay?
KEITH: Well, maybe we could go sit out on the balcony.
CHEYENNE: You’re still gonna be married on the balcony. Now. I want you to tell me exactly what you want. That one thing you can never get the little woman to do. And we’ll start there.
KEITH: Actually, I’d like to start by talking about Abel Koontz.

HZ: Wow, Keith, that is one hell of a kink. Bet she doesn't get that request often.
JOY: “The little woman just won't discuss Abel Koontz and the Lilly Kane murder with me the way I'd like.”

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod28 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, drugs, rape, alcohol, intoxication, sexual assault, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Sean, Luke, Casey, Jonathan Bennett, Rashomon, spycams, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Cheyenne, sex workers, Cuba, Las Vegas, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Teddy Dunn, Duncan Kane, Leighton Meester, Carrie Bishop, cameos, spit, drinks, parties, Shelly Pomroy, Shelly Pomroy’s party, GHB, liquid X, beards, facial hair, surfing, surfboards, theme song, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B Duncan, reward, Divinyls, I Touch Myself, allergies, Veronica's car, friendship, hotels, Echolls house, Inappropriately Sassy Duncan, Powersave Duncan, punch, Chekhov's thing, sugar, spitting, sets, set dressing, curtains, Aaron Echolls's face all over his house, pool house, air vents, hidden cameras, surveillance, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, car chalk, cars, drinking, Abel Koontz, wiretapping, Sean Friedrich

VMI 1.09: Drinking the Kool-Aid transcript

HZ: Have you heard the word ‘mooncalf’ before, Jenny?
JOY: I haven't, should I have?
HZ: Well, it's a derogatory term for stupid people.
JOY: Really? What a strange choice!
HZ: Yeah, but it derives from a word from the 1500s that meant an abortive foetus of a cow or a farm animal. Because at the time, there was the thought that a malformed foetus was the result of the moon having a malign influence on foetal development. And it was just like a fleshy mass, like Duncan Kane. Why would you name your cult after an abortive cow foetus?
JOY: Yeah, this is a very strange choice now that you're giving me some context. before that I was just like “how sweet, how nice”.
HZ: Yes, it is quite a pretty name until you know what it means. And then it sucks.

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod15 October 2019Drinking the Kool-Aid, Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, 1990s, fads, crazes, trends, waterbeds, beds, pigs, Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs, poinsettias, cults, cash crops, communes, mooncalf, runaways, teens, gross guys, PDA, teachers, poetry, house plants, plants, horses, cows, milking, MILK, milk carton kids, PD James, bad shirts, Aaron Samuels, Mean Girls, cult deprogramming, inheritance, inherited wealth, wills, grandmas, dying grandmas, Mooncalf Collective, Miss Mills, beanbags, Social Distortion, Clarence Wiedman, Kane Software, surveillance, cars, fancy cars, Porsche, Jonathan Bennett, Kool-Aid, Flavor Aid