Paris Hilton — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

Season 2 Investigations Investigations transcript

LATOYA FERGUSON: The amount of things I never thought I'd have to care about in a TV show that are in this season. Incorporation. Airplane hangars. At least like when The OC did all its real estate plots, it was interesting. But like... Jesus, incorporation.

special episode, transcript, Season 2VMI Pod20 October 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, LaToya Ferguson, special guest, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Abel Koontz, Christian Clemenson, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Woody Goodman, Steve Guttenberg, Cassidy Casablancas, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Aaron Echolls, Clarence Wiedman, Thumper, Fitzpatricks, Lilly Kane’s murder, Kristin Cavallari, Paris Hilton, guest stars, Trina Echolls, Celeste Kane, Duncan Kane, Bearded Duncan, Mannings, Meg Manning, Lizzie Manning, Grace Manning, Lucky, Leo D’Amato, Hannah Griffith, Dr Tom Griffith, retcons, UPN, limo, bus, bus crash, gas station, incorporation, rat, murder, bombs, explosions, mysteries, plot holes, text messages, red herrings, Thumper’s murder, Oscar, murder weapon, pizza, muggings, pizza muggings, sign language, LGBTQ, Versatile Toppings, My Mother the Fiend, friends, fiends, baby, books, novels, email, phones

VMI 2.18 I Am God transcript

HZ: There's quite a lot of setup this episode for this guy Lucky, but we see him for about 30 seconds, so just don't peak too soon.
JOY: Chekhov's... veteran?
HZ: Chekhov's really saving him for another play. "You know what, I'll seed Lucky in the first act of Uncle Vanya, but I won't get on to him until Three Sisters."
JOY: I'm laughing like I have any idea what Chekhov wrote and in what order, but I don't.
HZ: Anyone? Anyone?

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod8 September 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Mrs Murphy, Linda Castro, Rebecca James, Miss James, Paula Marshall, Tommy Dohanic, Lucky, James Jordan, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Martin Yu, Mr Wu, Cervando, Max Arcinieda, Angie Dahl, Kayla Ewell, Jeremy Ray Valdez, Marcos Oliveres, Van Clemmons, Clemmons, Principal Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Betina, Blythe Auffarth, Rhonda, Audra J Morgan, Michelle, Samantha Klein, Peter, Luke Fryden, Maureen, Vanessa Chester, Natalie, Skyler Shaye, Keith’s romances, dates, dating, Neptune Onlyplace, generalised anxiety disorder, anxiety, bus crash, flashbacks, dreams, dreaming, dream sequences, Woody Goodman, eggs, Ahoy Mateys, Kane Scholarship, physics, murder, Weevil Navarro, Stanford, college, Richard Casablancas, insurance, cars, Liam Fitzpatrick, party bus, gay, LGBTQ+, Whole 30, Cupid, Switched At Birth, Henry James, The Golden Bowl, literature, Chekhov, House of Wax, Paris Hilton, The Simple Life, Fleabag, voicemail, farmers, farmersonly.com, Corvette, Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, George Costanza, Bozoville, finals, cheating, bleach, jeans, some bullshit

VMI 2.10 One Angry Veronica transcript

JOY: Here's the thing: why make an episode of television made mostly out of the worst thing that can happen to you, as a citizen of the United States?

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod16 June 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Deputy Leo, Leo D’Amato, Max Greenfield, Lilly Kane, sex tapes, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, law enforcement, Thumper, James Molina, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, babies, pregnancy, megnant, murder, first degree murder, death, Woody Goodman, Steve Guttenberg, Mannings, Meg’s baby, Duncan’s baby, Meg and Duncan’s baby, Faith Manning, Lilly Manning, baby Lilly, Switched at Birth, jury service, jury duty, jurors, juries, court, lawyers, judges, judicial systems, bailiff, witness bias, Lloyd Blankenship, Steve Rankin, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Inga, Christmas, Xmas, festive, Scrubs, Michael Hyatt, Ned Flanders, 12 Angry Men, Twelve Angry Men, Bozoville, shirtlessness, O-Town, theft, evidence, evidence tampering, Robert Curtis Brown, Ivonne Coll, Robert Maschio, Paris Hilton, celebrity sex tapes, tabloids, Hearst College, Chekhov’s dude, dude, degausser, degaussing, Cornish game hens, wine, food, dinner

VMI 1.20 M.A.D. transcript

HZ: In the background of the Echolls living room, there's a cabinet containing many framed photos of Aaron. We're used to that from the set dressing, but also a bunch of awards, including two Oscars.

JOY: Damn, I missed that. What do you think those are for?

HZ: I don't know, because I thought they'd built up Aaron to be quite a shit actor, just doing these crappy action films and sequels.

JOY: I was wondering if - when they they said that when Veronica later says that she got caught making out by the star of Breaking Point and Breaking Point 2, I was wondering if that was supposed to be a Point Break reference, if Aaron was supposed to be a Patrick Swayze type.

HZ: Maybe one of the awards is for Dance Dirty and Dance Dirty 2 then.

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod20 January 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Neptune High, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Jeff D’Agostino, Beaver, Cassidy Casablancas, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Kyle Gallner, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Mac, Mac Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Carmen, Tad, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B Duncan, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, boats, awful guys of Neptune, tattoos, humiliation, phones, cellphones, video, revenge, vengeance, sex tape, drugs, Keith's romances, sex, revenge porn, sex shaming, Toxic Neptune, cars, videos, incriminating videos, entrapment, Missing Duncan, passports, eBay, escape plans, prom, homophobia, military, navy, dances, LGBTQ, Boy George, Seth, ecstasy, Troy, hair, guys that suck, Paris Hilton, Star Wars Kid, memes, viral videos, Ghyslain Raza, sleeveless henley, clothes, jackets, fashion, clothing, rotatokissing, Oscars, awards, set dressing, Echolls home, Point Break, Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing, surfing, Mexico, cheerleaders, surf and chicks fest, dog names, dogs, A Dog Named Boo, songs, music, LoVe, Loganica, Finding out true love is blind, Louis XIV, lyrics, bad songs, novelty hats, boardwalk, hats, photos, photobooth, photoshop, framing, websites, graphic design, long lens, drug dealing, chicken kiev, Chevy Impala, Tijuana, motels, accents, swingles, Mr Heinrich, costumes, costuming, Catalina Island, sailing, dates, dating, Chinatown, newspaper, paper, serving, lawsuits, divorce, Lianne Mars, Albacore Club, Tuna Club of Avalon, legal proceedings, legal procedure, Loretta Cancun, Ameenah Kaplan, Cliff, Cliff McCormack, dance, tricking a hotel receptionist, props, Felix, Shelly Pomroy's party, nonconsensual drugging, nonconsensual intoxication, GHB, crapface, emotional abuse, coercion, hot tub, lighting, Kane Software, bugs, houseplants, roofies, rohypnol

VMI 1.02: Credit Where Credit's Due transcript

JOY: Here comes Sheriff Lamb.
HZ: Wuh whoa. There's a newspaper story about a killer escape from the sheriff's cruiser. Whoops. What a blunder!
JOY: Oopsy Daisy! Old butter fingers.
HZ: There'll be another one along in a while. And so Keith is on form this morning because he's been warming up by razzing Veronica about her cap, so then he can give Lamb a good razzing and then Lamb absolutely biffs that volley of the razzing by being like:

SHERIFF LAMB: “You know what’s coming up? October 3rd. Are you doing anything special to mark the one year anniversary of Lilly Kane’s murder? Got it! Dress like a sheriff and crucify some poor, grieving father, just for old time’s sake, you know?”

HZ: Good one, dickhead.
JOY: Like, Lamb, God! If you just try!
HZ: Yeah, he's not got good chat.
JOY: No, no.
HZ: Imagine Lamb in a rap battle!
JOY: I refuse.

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod26 August 2019Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Fracis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Paris Hilton, celebs, guest stars, stunt casting, scooters, pink, party, parties, PCHers, Chardo, Sheriff Lamb, Nelly, Hot In Herre, romance, Neptune Grand, Weevil’s grandma, Letty Navarro, Navarro family, Logan’s random girlfriends, 09ers, Troy Vandegraff, Aaron Ashmore, car trouble, photography, school paper, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, long lens, hats, Mars double act