JOY: For 40 percent of my grade, I am going to attempt to tell you what happened in Pride and Prejudice.
HZ: I'm so excited to finally learn what happens in Pride and Prejudice...
JOY: Well, I mean...
HZ: …through the prism of Jenny Owen Youngs's mind.
JOY: You've never seen Pride and Prejudice quite like this. And content note, this episode of Veronica Mars Investigations contains heavy themes and bonnets.
JOY: I just googled ‘Celebrity Boners and Gaffes’ -
HZ: No, no — no Jenny! Delete all the cookies!
JOY:There is a seemingly endless list of articles from mostly BuzzFeed, In Touch, some other websites and news outlets. Here are some sample article titles: "Celebrities who've had erections during sex scenes". "31 celebrity bulges that went hard in 2015". "The 21 most important celebrity bulges of all time". "Boner alert! Nine celebrities who have had boners in public". "Boner alert! Make America bulge again".
HZ: Argh.
JOY: "13 celebrity dudes who aren't afraid to show off their goods". I've googled it, so you don't have to.
HZ: Thanks, Jenny.
JOY: Ugh. You're welcome.
HZ: How do you know I hadn't already? (I hadn't.) So no gaffes, just boners?
JOY: No gaffes, just boners.
HZ: Gaffes are less popular than boners, I guess.