family — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

VMI 2.15 The Quick and the Wed transcript

JOY: Here's some stuff that we find out that I don't care about: she had her ex-boyfriend's name tattooed on her ass after two weeks, then she got it removed, which took six weeks, so that the guy that she's getting married to would never see it, and also one of them lost her cellphone last night, and there was a guy creeping around them at the Happy Horseshoe. Here is what we find out that I do care about: they went to an all-male revue called "Packaged Meat".
HZ: Ew.
JOY: Ha! Helen! Get on my level. This is so great. This is wonderful news.
HZ: I suppose, any of the genders in revue, I'm a little uncomfortable with them.
JOY: Well, I guess this is where you and I, our paths diverge, and I take the winding road into the strippergram forest, searching for elusive woodland hunks to pop out, being granted modesty by strategically-placed fig leaves and branches, and that's just not what you're after.
HZ: It's quite the bucolic scene of male nudity and moss and branches and things.
JOY: Come on!

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod28 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Jane, Jane Kuhne, Valorie Curry, Hannah Griffith, Jessy Schram, Vinnie Van Lowe, Ken Marino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Heidi, Virginia Williams, Rick Peters, Dr Tom Griffith, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Daran Norris, Cliff McCormack, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Arturo, Michael Ausiello, Mr Pope, Michael Kostroff, Nick, Brad Ashten, bus crash, explosives, Terrence Cook, wedding, marriage, faxes, missing bride, family, engagement ring, engagement, karaoke, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, Phoenix Land Trust, Hannibal Lecter, prison, Clarice Starling, Easy Rider, Duncan Kane, CONDOMS, plea bargains, incorporation, bachelorettes, bachelorette party, hen party, sex Roomba, Neptune Onlyplace, Pirates of Penzance, Gilbert and Sullivan, Gollum, melon, strippers, bowling, bands, musicians

Special Investigation: Pride and Prejudice transcript

JOY: For 40 percent of my grade, I am going to attempt to tell you what happened in Pride and Prejudice.
HZ: I'm so excited to finally learn what happens in Pride and Prejudice...
JOY: Well, I mean...
HZ: …through the prism of Jenny Owen Youngs's mind.
JOY: You've never seen Pride and Prejudice quite like this. And content note, this episode of Veronica Mars Investigations contains heavy themes and bonnets.

special episode, transcriptVMI Pod28 April 2020recap, TV, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, novels, special episode, bonus, literature, BBC, miniseries, 1995, Colin Firth, Jennifer Ehle, Mr Darcy, Lizzie Bennet, Elizabeth Bennet, Lydia Bennet, Julia Sawalha, Alison Steadman, Benjamin Whitrow, Mr Collins, Lady Catherine De Bourgh, fancy houses, period dramas, Regency, marriage, balls, dances, dancing, etiquette, Emilia Fox, Anna Chancellor, romance, Adrian Lukis, Mr Bingley, Crispin Bonham-Carter, Lucy Davis, Susannah Harker, 19th century, bonnets, wet shirt, soggy Darcy, top hats, cravats, tiny jackets, Pemberley, Wickham, cads, courtship, patriarchy, family, daughters, cousins, Derbyshire, wedlock, bad trousers, front butt trousers, Mary Bennet, Kitty Bennet, Mozart, Turkish Rondo, sexpeople, entailment, heirs, property, negging, class, wealth, hierarchy, David Bamber, soldiers, military, regiment, Brighton, weddings, Pride and JOY

VMI 1.22 Leave It To Beaver transcript

HZ: Veronica's not avoiding Logan today.
JOY: No, even though she's supposed to be I think steering clear from him she can't resist going in for a little no-costume undercover work pretending to still be into it so that she can see what he has to say for himself.
HZ: Yeah, right. We know that she's shitting him, for some reason.
JOY: I'm sorry - "shitting him"?
HZ: Yeah, do you not say that in America?
JOY: Oh, like like she's like lying to them or playing him or something? Like "you gotta be shitting me."
HZ: Right. Exactly. She's shittting him. But he doesn't know he's being shat.
JOY: See, this really starts to fall apart once you start conjugating.
HZ: Does it? You knew what I meant! He is beshat.

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod4 February 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, PCHers, Jake Kane, Kyle Secor, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, murder, tapes, secrets, secret tapes, sex tapes, fire, arson, fridges, Backup, car crash, fighting, fights, Keith Mars to the rescue, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, rewards, theft, cheques, checks, Hrishikesh Hirway, Song Exploder, The West Wing Weekly, Steve Rankin, Lloyd Blankenship, Cheyenne, sex workers, Abel Koontz, newspapers, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Beaver, DNA tests, DNA results, paternity tests, onions, chopping onions, music, food, nice Chianti, parents, family, families, parenting, disguises, servers, cater waiters, Republicans, parties, another grim dinner at the Kane house, alcoholism, Cliff, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, voices, Cliff's voice, lawsuits, suing, Kane fortune, print media, props, eavesdropping, eavesdroppers, appearing behind things, CSS, toilet office, breakups, breaking up, Keithlicia, jackets, set dressing, waterproof Santa, Garfield, lighting, Leave It To Beaver, alibis, red herrings, Garbage, Bad Boyfriend, shit, linguistics, gay for Weevil, Leo D'Amato, Barry Randall, soul patch, facial hair, Deputy Sacks, the one phone call, hiding places, Marses in disguise, crab puffs, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arnie, doors, traumacoaster, Spice Girls, Wannabe, video, sex hut, curtains, LeBaron, Veronica's car, Joan of Arc, walkie talkies, plastic horse, killing, goofs, stunt doubles, Blankenship, Lil Kim

VMI 1.11: Silence of the Lamb transcript

JOY: This episode is anti-guitarist propaganda. This is very offensive representation of the guitar playing community. This guitar store - okay, if you're not watching along with us for some reason, let me just paint you a picture. Helen, they’re at a guitar store - listen, they are in the fifth circle of hell. If you're a musician and you're like, “Wow, I love being a musician but man, it is sure difficult to go to Guitar Center” because there's always like somebody playing ‘Stairway to Heaven’ as loud as they possibly can poorly and then somebody across the the store plugged into a different amp playing fucking Free Bird - it's a sonic nightmare. And this guitar store takes that idea and - to nod in the general direction of Spinal Tap - turns it all the way up to 11! There's like 100 dudes around, it's basically a chug chug a circle jerk of 10 dudes standing in a circle playing <metal riff>. Why would this happen? Also! Also, there's this mural behind the register, that eventually the guitar store guy comes out and talks to them in front of, that's kind of like a D&D/fantasy/Megadeth album cover of like a sort of like Conan the Barbarian meets a Minotaur kind of thing and he's like shirtless and he has a guitar and his arms in the air and like there's probably like lightning and mountains and shit behind him. I just - Helen. Helen, Helen. Did you see it?
HZ: Jenny. Are you ok?
JOY: I'm not okay.
HZ: Do you need me to call a medic?

transcript, Season 1VMI Pod28 October 2019Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Serial murder, serial killers, murder, murderers, guitars, guitarists, guitar stores, music, guitar wankers, guitar strings, E string strangler, misogyny, party people, party girls, Aaron Paul, Gabe, privateeyez.com, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Mac’s parents, baby swap, lawsuits, Madison Sinclair, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Lambsplaining, parents, nachos, family, families, rugby, Steve Monroe, Switched at Birth, Clarence Wiedman, Christmas, Christmas decorations, Xmas, festive, twelfth night

VMI 1.03: Meet John Smith transcript

JOY: It's really starting to feel like Duncan is a radio, and the dial is just a spin.

HZ: Yeah, he's free-associating. “Oh, bleachers, what’s the association I have with bleachers?” Duncan Kane putting on his one-man production of Grease.

JOY: I would actually like to see that more than I've seen anything else from Duncan, a one-man production of Grease starring Duncan Kane. Hell yeah, sign me up.

HZ: You’re going to love his rendition of ‘Beauty school dropout’.

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod2 September 2019Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Meet John Smith, transgender, missing parent, Lianne Mars, Troy Vandegraff, video store, video rental, videos, Aaron Ashmore, dating, dates, cars, San Diego, toilet office, Celeste Kane, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, mental health, problem parents, family, families, bleachers, Grease, head injuries, medication, antidepressants, Keith dating, Rebecca James, guidance counsellor, Body Heat, Kung Fu, Jake Kane, milk, not milk, outdated technologies, San Juan Capistrano, San Clemente, Dana Point, Melissa Leo