Troy Vandegraff — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

JOY: Has anyone ever puked on you in a romantic setting?
HZ: No.
JOY: Good. Hey, that's good.
HZ: Have they puked on you in a romantic setting?
JOY: Hell, no, I don't think so.
HZ: Don't think I've been puked on. A friend of mine at school puked in a jigsaw box at my house. That was unfortunate.
JOY: Ugh.
HZ: And two different friends puked in my mother's wellington boots.
JOY: What? On different occasions?
HZ: Yes.
JOY: Or like one per boot, at different times?
HZ: Different times.
JOY: Why? Why there?
HZ: I don't think you can really accurately find out from someone that is drunk enough to puke into a boot.
JOY: OK. Was the second person aware that the first person had done it at an earlier point? Was it a copycat puking? Or no?
HZ: I don't think, again, if you're in a state where you're going to puke in a boot, that you have the presence of mind to think, "Oh, I'll make it a callback."
JOY: OK, OK, OK. You might be surprised, Helen, what people are capable of.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod11 August 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Troy Vandegraff, Aaron Ashmore, Hannah Griffith, Jessy Schram, Daran Norris, Cliff McCormack, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Danny Boyd, Taylor Sheridan, Mrs Murphy, Linda Castro, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Michael Cera, Alia Shawkat, Arrested Development, Hearst College, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Zach McNees, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, rape, sex crime, Torrance High School, vomit, puke, sick, Roman numerals, Dean, Drew, Chip, jerks, awful white boys of Neptune, Sugar Jones, sex workers, sex, sexpeople, cake, Ozzy Osbourne, boarding school, Woody Goodman, essay contest, blowing shit up, Shark Field, explosives, detonation, Fitzpatricks

VMI 1.03: Meet John Smith transcript

JOY: It's really starting to feel like Duncan is a radio, and the dial is just a spin.

HZ: Yeah, he's free-associating. “Oh, bleachers, what’s the association I have with bleachers?” Duncan Kane putting on his one-man production of Grease.

JOY: I would actually like to see that more than I've seen anything else from Duncan, a one-man production of Grease starring Duncan Kane. Hell yeah, sign me up.

HZ: You’re going to love his rendition of ‘Beauty school dropout’.

Season 1, transcriptVMI Pod2 September 2019Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 1, Meet John Smith, transgender, missing parent, Lianne Mars, Troy Vandegraff, video store, video rental, videos, Aaron Ashmore, dating, dates, cars, San Diego, toilet office, Celeste Kane, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, mental health, problem parents, family, families, bleachers, Grease, head injuries, medication, antidepressants, Keith dating, Rebecca James, guidance counsellor, Body Heat, Kung Fu, Jake Kane, milk, not milk, outdated technologies, San Juan Capistrano, San Clemente, Dana Point, Melissa Leo

VMI 1.02: Credit Where Credit's Due transcript

JOY: Here comes Sheriff Lamb.
HZ: Wuh whoa. There's a newspaper story about a killer escape from the sheriff's cruiser. Whoops. What a blunder!
JOY: Oopsy Daisy! Old butter fingers.
HZ: There'll be another one along in a while. And so Keith is on form this morning because he's been warming up by razzing Veronica about her cap, so then he can give Lamb a good razzing and then Lamb absolutely biffs that volley of the razzing by being like:

SHERIFF LAMB: “You know what’s coming up? October 3rd. Are you doing anything special to mark the one year anniversary of Lilly Kane’s murder? Got it! Dress like a sheriff and crucify some poor, grieving father, just for old time’s sake, you know?”

HZ: Good one, dickhead.
JOY: Like, Lamb, God! If you just try!
HZ: Yeah, he's not got good chat.
JOY: No, no.
HZ: Imagine Lamb in a rap battle!
JOY: I refuse.