Jane — Transcripts — Veronica Mars Investigations

Posts tagged Jane

VMI 2.15 The Quick and the Wed transcript

JOY: Here's some stuff that we find out that I don't care about: she had her ex-boyfriend's name tattooed on her ass after two weeks, then she got it removed, which took six weeks, so that the guy that she's getting married to would never see it, and also one of them lost her cellphone last night, and there was a guy creeping around them at the Happy Horseshoe. Here is what we find out that I do care about: they went to an all-male revue called "Packaged Meat".
HZ: Ew.
JOY: Ha! Helen! Get on my level. This is so great. This is wonderful news.
HZ: I suppose, any of the genders in revue, I'm a little uncomfortable with them.
JOY: Well, I guess this is where you and I, our paths diverge, and I take the winding road into the strippergram forest, searching for elusive woodland hunks to pop out, being granted modesty by strategically-placed fig leaves and branches, and that's just not what you're after.
HZ: It's quite the bucolic scene of male nudity and moss and branches and things.
JOY: Come on!

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod28 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Jane, Jane Kuhne, Valorie Curry, Hannah Griffith, Jessy Schram, Vinnie Van Lowe, Ken Marino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Heidi, Virginia Williams, Rick Peters, Dr Tom Griffith, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Daran Norris, Cliff McCormack, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Arturo, Michael Ausiello, Mr Pope, Michael Kostroff, Nick, Brad Ashten, bus crash, explosives, Terrence Cook, wedding, marriage, faxes, missing bride, family, engagement ring, engagement, karaoke, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, Phoenix Land Trust, Hannibal Lecter, prison, Clarice Starling, Easy Rider, Duncan Kane, CONDOMS, plea bargains, incorporation, bachelorettes, bachelorette party, hen party, sex Roomba, Neptune Onlyplace, Pirates of Penzance, Gilbert and Sullivan, Gollum, melon, strippers, bowling, bands, musicians

VMI 2.13 Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough transcript

HZ: Jackie's shivering. It's so cold, this is so wrong. And then fucking Madison is there missing the balls, so she just goes over to the lever and she's like, "I told you to stay home," and dunks Jackie with the lever, which is so horrible. And the teacher who wouldn't let Wallace misthrow balls is just like, "Yeah, whatever, sure." And Veronica has a face of concern. But does she do anything? No.
JOY: You know, Helen, in my elementary school, we had a summer festival thing where our principal was in the dunk tank, and I, some way or another, won the privilege of being the first person to get to throw balls to try to dunk my principal, and I missed all three times. And then I did what Madison did, but in a fun way. But watching Madison do this really made me call into question my fifth grade mentality.
HZ: Isn't the point there that the hierarchy is temporarily suspended or subverted?
JOY: Yes.
HZ: Whereas this, it's someone in a superior position in pretty much every way in society being a real shit to someone else.
JOY: Thank you for making me feel better, Helen.
HZ: Yeah.
JOY: About me, not about this episode.

Season 2, transcriptVMI Pod15 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Detective Weevil, Detective Logan, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, PCHers, Thumper, James Molina, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Jane, Valorie Curry, Miss Dumas, Hannah Griffith, Jessy Schram, Tom Griffith, Rick Peters, Cora, Dana Davis, Ms Hauser, Kari Coleman, JB, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Tina Majorino, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Corny, Jonathan Chesner, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Principal Clemmons, baseball, sportsball, sports, match throwing, gambling, debt, incorporation, carnival, winter carnival, money, theft, sports fans, ejoke-ulate, glitter, Tritons, Kane Scholarship, Magic Mountain, Six Flags, Chekhov’s things, Chekhov’s glitter, hair, haircuts, Ophelia, Weevil’s niece, Thora Birch, Ghost World, cash, banknotes, ball pit, cash box, dunk tank, dude, fluffy snake, video, streakers, slushies, sex workers, flagpole, denouement, shoes, pranks, Sally, cars, Chevy, Impala

VMI 2.12 Rashard and Wallace Go To White Castle transcript

HZ: Uncle Monte doesn't want Rashard to be consorting with girls in case they're leeches, and hits him in the dick to prove his point.
JOY: Helen, has your uncle ever hit you in the dick?
HZ: I've only met my uncle about eight times, and no, he didn't hit me in the dick. He taught me how to make a compass with a piece of string and a pin.
JOY: That's pretty tight. That's way cooler than hitting your nibling in the dick.
HZ: I don't think I've hit any of my niblings in the dick so far.
JOY: Good on you, Helen.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod7 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Terrence Cook, Detective Weevil, Detective Logan, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, PCHers, Thumper, James Molina, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Chicago, Rashard Rucker, hit and run, cover-up, basketball, Fitzpatricks, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Marcello Thedford, Super Huge Deputy, Liam Fitzpatrick, Robert Fitzpatrick, James Joseph O'Neil, Annie Campbell, Molly Fitzpatrick, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Jane, BJ Britt, Uncle Monte Rucker, Sterling Macer Jr, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Guy Abruti, Curtis Anderson, Neptune Grand, church, confession, confessional, props, books, Inga, evidence, club, White Castle, limo, fraternity, frat, party, parties, karaoke, Britt Daniel, Spoon, Lars, Curly Moran, smelly bus, Neptune Onlyplace, toga parties, journalists, clubs, tie dye, boobs, uncles, drive through, burgers, cool girl, phones, cellphones, mobile phones, switcheroo, hollow books, Bill O’Reilly, tapes, interviews, priests, catholicism, hymnal, Miss Dumas, rat, dead rat, Woody Goodman, cobbler, pantomime horse, costumes, panto

VMI 2.07 Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner transcript

JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: But if you had to choose a favourite Ninja Turtle...
HELEN ZALTZMAN: I don't know what their different personalities are, Jenny.
JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: OK, let me just run it down for you really quick.
HELEN ZALTZMAN: Which one's the Logan and which one's the Duncan?
JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: Right. Exactly. Well, Duncan is sort of the Leonardo. Michelangelo is like Dick. He's like, "Wazzup?" And then Raphael is like Logan because he has a lot of anger issues. And then Donatello, do we have like a recurring super smart person on this show? I guess Mac would be the closest? Mac is Donatello. Cool. Nailed it. And then Keith is like Splinter. And then Mr Echolls is like Shredder. And then all the one episode 09ers are the foot soldiers, the Foot Clan. Cool. Thanks for listening.
HELEN ZALTZMAN: Are all shows truly the same?
JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: All shows are one show.
HELEN ZALTZMAN: It's the same characters, but different shells.

transcript, Season 2VMI Pod19 May 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Ms Hauser, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Kyle Gallner, Cassidy Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Dick Casablancas, Richard Casablancas, Betina Casablancas, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Woody Goodman, Steve Guttenberg, Jessica Fuller, Meg Manning, Manning family, Grace Manning, Manning parents, Tom Griffith, Rick Peters, Felix’s murder, child abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, Dirty Dancing, babysitting, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, milk, Kari Coleman, Switched at Birth, Jane, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, STIs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, tropes, awful boys of Neptune, Edwin, Albert, Stuart Fuller, photoshop, mirrors, back of heads, Rihanna, sleepovers, basics, pizza, Pon De Replay, hair, butts, Pretty Woman, panty raids, Milk Tray, Milk Tray Man, turtlenecks, air vents, handwriting, graphology, money, finances, FBLOA, Future Business Leaders of America, French maids’ outfits, shit parents, sexpeople, inappropriate behaviour, propositions, toilet office, plastic surgeon, cigars, cigar shop, golf, incorporation, burglary