Posts tagged teen
VMI 4.01 Spring Break Forever

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • SPRING BREAK!! Neptune is full of douchey boys and drunk girls, what could possibly go wrong??

  • What goes wrong? A bomb goes off at the party motel, that’s what’s wrong! Killing four people, one of whom is the nephew of El Despiadado, a MEXICAN CRIME LORD oh Rob Thomas, must we?

  • We must, and El Despiadado must send two guys to Neptune to chop off the head of whoever’s responsible for the bombing.

  • But they’re not the only family with a stake in this crime: the brother of congressman Daniel Maloof lost his hand and his fiancee, and the Maloofs hire the Marses to investigate. And Matty, the teenage daughter of the motel owner who died, is tugging at Veronica’s heartstrings.

  • We also meet some new characters: pizza delivery guy Patton Oswalt - er, Penn; Mr Hu, whose supermarket is being sabotaged with rats; and super cool bar owner Nicole, who sure can punch.

  • Plus we have the return of ambulance-chasing Cliff; a still-recovering Keith; and Big Dick Casablancas, who’s campaigning to Make Neptune Great Again.

  • Logan is also back, and he proposes to Veronica! What a prick! And he plays with Wallace’s baby! Ugh how dare he!

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VMI: Mr Kiss and Tell

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Mr Kiss and Tell, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham:

  • A young woman has been raped and beaten, and, once again, the Neptune Grand hires Veronica to investigate - only so they don’t get sued for hiring the undocumented worker who has been accused.

  • But, having cleared him, Veronica keeps going with the case, to get justice for the victim, Grace Manning - that’s right, Meg’s little sister. A decade on from being locked in a closet by her parents, and still having a shit time.

  • Grace is one of several sex workers who have been attacked by this man, a SPORTSBALL coach. I knew I was right not to trust sportsball!

  • So Veronica and Leo team up, dress up and wig up to go to Vegas and bust this man. A golf course is involved - sports really come out of this novel badly.

  • Meanwhile, the sheriff’s election looms into view, with a new candidate, Marcia - with whom Keith has history. Tense sad history, not sexy history. We assume Keith’s pelvis is still knitting itself back together.

  • Keith and Cliff put together a civil case, Weevil vs the sheriff’s department and their evidence planting. But which does Weevil need more: justice, or to stop his family falling apart?

  • And Logan is ashore! He and Veronica are having problems, with her overwork and his months-long absences - but, they do get a puppy! And the puppy’s called Pony! A satisfying conclusion to Veronica’s years-long pony joke.

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VMI: The Thousand Dollar Tan Line

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: The Thousand Dollar Tan Line, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham:

  • Two months have passed since the movie, and it’s SPRING BREAK! Neptune’s popping off! Until two young women disappear, first Hayley and then Aurora, presumed kidnapped.

  • The spring breakers stay away and the Neptune Grand is losing business, so the glamorous owner hires Veronica to investigate the disappearances.

  • This case means Veronica gets back into her sexy disguises to infiltrate house parties run by the heirs to a Mexican drug cartel.

  • Lamb doesn’t care about the Mexican drug cartel heirs, and neither should you because - BIG TWIST - they have nothing to do with it! They’re just rich guys throwing parties. Turns out, Hayley went off to Bakersfield and was murdered by her jealous boyfriend :(

  • And, BIG TWIST, Aurora is part of her own kidnapping plot with her scammer dad, who she’s also double-crossing to get the ransom money!

  • Oh and BIG TWIST, Aurora’s stepmom is LIANNE MARS!

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VMI: the movie, part 2

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • Veronica has choices to make! NYC or Neptune? Lawyering or detectiving? Piz or Logan? Try to guess, go on, guess.

  • Armed with her favourite tools, a bug, a long lens and a taser, Veronica closes in on Carrie’s murderer...

  • ...And it’s not any of the candidates you thought it might be in the first half of the movie - it’s the guy you barely saw at all, Cobb! Who? Cobb! You remember Cobb.

  • Cobb!

  • The death toll rises - Deputy Sacks, Gia, possibly a cat - and our beloved Keith ends up in ICU.

  • Sheriff Dan Lamb is happy to frame Logan, doesn’t want to catch the real killer, and plants a gun in Weevil’s hand to make it look like Celeste shot him in self-defence. Veronica can’t resist getting her teeth into all that Neptune corruption.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the second half of Veronica Mars: the 2014 movie, and delve into such mysteries as: and delve into such mysteries as how long Pizvonica have been a thing, why Sweaty Luke is just there for some kind of gross 1950s-style plot, and whether these kids ever needed to cover up Susan's death at all, but especially after the statute of limitations has elapsed.

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VMI: the movie, part 1

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • 91,585 fans missed the show so much that they kickstarted a movie! So off we all go back to Neptune to see some old pals, like Wallace! Principal Clemmons! Gia Goodman! Sweaty Luke! Corny! Aaaand Logan being suspected of murder.

  • Plus some new pals, like Mac’s hot new hair! Piz’s boss Ira Glass! a new Sheriff Lamb who is just as shitty as the old Sheriff Lamb! And an intense Logan fan in a wig.

  • We’re not so pleased to see the Pizvonica sex tape again, and it causes a big punchup at the high school reunion.

  • We also reluctantly reunite with Celeste Kane, as she shoots the now upstanding husband and dad Weevil.

  • And even though Veronica’s supposedly happy living in New York City, in a relationship with Piz, about to become a big shot lawyer, you know she can’t resist a Logan in distress.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the first half of Veronica Mars: the 2014 movie, and delve into such mysteries as: how Keith has such a spacious lovely home these days, Dax Shepard's van, why Mac and Wallace force the heinous reunion on Veronica and poor poor Piz, and leg erotica.

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VMI season 4 pitches

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • Rob Thomas wrote a mini-pilot for a season 4 that involved Veronica becoming an FBI agent, and guess what! It’s full of awful white guys who don’t seem to do anything and leave all the work to Veronica and her new colleague Nish-In-A-Wig - we mean Callie. Callie! Totally new character!

  • Nish goes off to infiltrate a strip club, while Veronica is sent back to high school in a tiny vest, to arrest a pervy principal…

  • ...then she goes to question someone about a bomber but he turns out to BE the bomber!

  • He’s holding Nish-in-a-wig at knifepoint, argh what’s going to happen???

  • The show’s cancelled, that’s what happens. BUT we've got all your incredible pitches for what could have been in the years between the end of Veronica Mars season 3 and the movie!

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Veronica Mars Investigations Investigations season 3

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS SEASON 3:

Murders! Rapes! Frats! The Dreaded Feminists! Jenny's beautiful wife Mindy! Eggs! Wigs! Bland white boys! Obnoxious white boys! Bland obnoxious white boys! Loganica together! Loganica asunder! Aaaaand... Weevil’s big red toolbox!

Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and returning Special Agent LaToya Ferguson, to reopen the cold case files and try to crack some of Veronica Mars season 3's unsolved mysteries, such as: where's Wallace? Why is Lucky-in-a-wig? Is Professor Landry actually hot? Ah screw it, let's all just escape to Jenny's island where she cavorts with her beautiful wife Mindy and Wallace happily flies his little planes on the next beach over.

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VMI 3.20 The Bitch Is Back

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • As we know, sex people never prosper in this show, and Piz is bruised from Logan’s attack and Veronica is humiliated - and ready for revenge.

  • Veronica’s search for the sex tape culprit takes her from Piz to Logan to Dick to Chip to some other asshole Dominick to some other other asshole Gory to the secret society The Castle to JAKE KANE!?!?!

  • Of course, to cap a season that began with the Stanford Prison Experiment, we get the Milgram Experiment; and, unfortunately, it is performed on Wallace as he helps Veronica investigate the Castle.

  • Veronica breaks into what turns out to be Jake Kane’s new lonely bachelor mansion, steals his hard drive, but leaves a shred of her sweater snagged on the doggy door she shimmied in through, and is caught on the neighbour’s security tapes.

  • Keith destroys the security footage of Veronica - and maybe also his chances of winning the sheriff election. Did he win?? Find out next epi- oh but then the show was dormant for seven years.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episode 20: The Bitch Is Back, and consider such mysteries as how this show, even in its last moments pre-cancellation, finds ways to introduce new awful white boys, each more revolting than the last; how many supercomputers this college contains; and whether Jake Kane painted the big terrifying portraits of his children himself.

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VMI 3.171819 I Know Weevil's Wobble Tapes

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • Rock star Paul Rudd is here to play a show at Hearst College, to fundraise for Piz’s awful radio station - but oh no! His backing tapes are missing! Presumed stolen! They’re not. A crime-free mystery!

  • New campus celebrity Apollo has written a hit memoir about being a child soldier in Uganda - but WAS he? - and Veronica is hired by someone claiming to be his dad - but IS he? Yes to both. Another crime-free mystery! How relaxing.

  • Until! Remember when Weevil was falsely accused of stealing Veronica’s necklace, and falsely accused of stealing the fairground cash box, and… anyway, in today’s edition of “Let’s fuck up Weevil for no good reason,” he’s accused of making fake IDs.

  • Someone has leaked a sex tape of Pizvonica! Nobody wants to see that! Especially not Logan, who beats up Piz.

  • Acting Sheriff Mars is investigating a string of Fitzpatricky burglaries, that threaten his sheriff campaign AND his friendship with Cliff.Vinnie is also running for Sheriff, and might be involved in the burglaries too?

  • And Big Dick Richard Casablancas is back to spend some time with Little Dick before going to prison for all his crimes in the first two seasons. And at long last, Dick Casablancas shows some human emotions.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 17, 18 and 19: I Know Weevil's Wobble Tapes, and consider such mysteries as what Wallace has been up to in all the time he has not been on screen, what a Weevil-based Law & Order spinoff would be like, and whether that's Rob Thomas in a wig? After all the wigs he has inflicted on others!

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VMI 3.141516 Papa's Un-American Mars Bars

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • Veronica’s in jail for helping Josh escape jail - though later she seems to get away with helping Josh get away with kidnapping, obtaining his inheritance early, and fleeing the country.

  • Even though Josh didn’tactually kill his dad - turns out his dad killed his dad, for life insurance purposes.

  • And, it turns out the Dean was killed by Lucky In A Wig, for framing Professor Landry purposes!

  • And, Professor Landry kills Mindy O’Dell! For writing both of them off the show purposes?

  • And, Sheriff Lamb is killed by Steve Batando! So Deputy Sacks kills Steve! And that’s the season finale of Veronica Mars- wait, there are still several episodes to go?

  • Keith is sheriff again, anyway.

  • At least somepeople are having fun: Mac, Bronson, Parker and Logan do a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt, and find a little romance on the way.

  • And Veronica and Piz get together! Pizvonica! A pairing as sizzling as lukewarm oatmeal.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 14, 15 and 16: Papa's Un-American Mars Bars, and delve into such mysteries as which Gilmore Girl Wallace is, why both Marses are worse when Keith is officially doing sheriff duties, and how this show's compulsion to make cultural references even infiltrates the last words of a dying man.

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audio, Season 3VMI PodVeronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, college, Hearst College, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 3, Professor Landry, Patrick Fabian, Tim Foyle, James Jordan, Piz, Stosh Piznarski, Chris Lowell, Parker Lee, Julie Gonzalo, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Deputy Sacks, Jerry Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Mindy O’Dell, Jaime Ray Newman, Steve Batando, Richard Grieco, Ken Marino, Vinnie Van Lowe, Cliff!, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, Mason, Robert Ri’chard, Josh Barry, Jonathan Chase, Tom Barry, Matt McKenzie, Kathleen Barry, Tracey Needham, Coach Yeager, Todd Christian Hunter, murder, death, suicide, assisted suicide, jailbreak, insurance fraud, Mexico, boats, paintball, paintball guns, Valentine’s Day, romance, treasure hunt, ocean, beach, sea, bravado, Kama Sutra, Sheriff, life insurance, jail, Caged Heat, CJD, quoting, Cultural References, MASH, insurance, yachts, Ernest Hemingway, vandalism, racism, Islamophobia, military, Iraq, war, warfare, service, alcohol, bars, drinking, underage drinking, IDs, fake IDs, Sheriff Keith, condoms, Titans, sex, Gilmore Girls, Lane Kim, MySpace, Neptune Grand, elevator, cake, face cake