Veronica Mars Investigations

VMI: the movie, part 2

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

Veronica has choices to make! NYC or Neptune? Lawyering or detectiving? Piz or Logan? Try to guess, go on, guess.
Armed with her favourite tools, a bug, a long lens and a taser, Veronica closes in on Carrie’s murderer...
...And it’s not any of the candidates you thought it might be in the first half of the movie - it’s the guy you barely saw at all, Cobb! Who? Cobb! You remember Cobb.
Cobb!
The death toll rises - Deputy Sacks, Gia, possibly a cat - and our beloved Keith ends up in ICU.
Sheriff Dan Lamb is happy to frame Logan, doesn’t want to catch the real killer, and plants a gun in Weevil’s hand to make it look like Celeste shot him in self-defence. Veronica can’t resist getting her teeth into all that Neptune corruption.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the second half of Veronica Mars: the 2014 movie, and delve into such mysteries as: and delve into such mysteries as how long Pizvonica have been a thing, why Sweaty Luke is just there for some kind of gross 1950s-style plot, and whether these kids ever needed to cover up Susan's death at all, but especially after the statute of limitations has elapsed.

audioVMI Pod23 March 2021Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, college, Hearst College, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, Piz, Stosh Piznarski, Chris Lowell, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Jerry Sacks, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Dan Lamb, Jerry O’Connell, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Stu Cobbler, Cobb, Martin Starr, Cliff, Daran Norris, Sam Huntington, Luke Haldeman, Carrie Bishop, Bonnie DeVille, Andrea Estella, Martina Vasquez, Kevin Sheridan, Sean Friedrich, Celeste Kane, James Franco, Leo D’Amato, Max Greenfield, Vinnie Van Lowe, Ken Marino, Pizvonica, Loganica, sex, breakups, breaking up, murder, death, cats, bugs, radio, boats, yachts, conspiracy, corruption, car crash, PCHers, surveillance, tablets, videos, viral videos, lighting, references, A Few Good Men, Point Break, Johnny Utah, tax returns, LGBTQIA+, gayness, homophobia, Logan voicemails

VMI: the movie, part 1

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

91,585 fans missed the show so much that they kickstarted a movie! So off we all go back to Neptune to see some old pals, like Wallace! Principal Clemmons! Gia Goodman! Sweaty Luke! Corny! Aaaand Logan being suspected of murder.
Plus some new pals, like Mac’s hot new hair! Piz’s boss Ira Glass! a new Sheriff Lamb who is just as shitty as the old Sheriff Lamb! And an intense Logan fan in a wig.
We’re not so pleased to see the Pizvonica sex tape again, and it causes a big punchup at the high school reunion.
We also reluctantly reunite with Celeste Kane, as she shoots the now upstanding husband and dad Weevil.
And even though Veronica’s supposedly happy living in New York City, in a relationship with Piz, about to become a big shot lawyer, you know she can’t resist a Logan in distress.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the first half of Veronica Mars: the 2014 movie, and delve into such mysteries as: how Keith has such a spacious lovely home these days, Dax Shepard's van, why Mac and Wallace force the heinous reunion on Veronica and poor poor Piz, and leg erotica.

audioVMI Pod17 March 2021Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, college, Hearst College, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, lawyers, law firms, Trumann-Man, Piz, Stosh Piznarski, Chris Lowell, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Corny, Carrie Bishop, Leighton Meester, Bonnie DeVille, Andrea Estella, Susan Knight, Christine Lakin, Gaby Hoffman, Della Pugh, Ruby Jetson, Jerry O’Connell, Dan Lamb, Jerry Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Cliff, Daran Norris, Sam Huntington, Luke Haldeman, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Mr Wu, Martina Vasquez, Kevin Sheridan, Sean Friedrich, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Martin Starr, Stu Cobbler, Krysten Ritter, Gia Goodman, Ira Glass, Dax Shepard, Perez Hilton, Jamie Lee Curtis, Justin Long, Helen Slayton-Hughes, exposition, navy, naval, uniform, This American Life, TAL, punching, murder, We Used To Be Friends, New York, NYC, karaoke, Kane Software, Pepsi, Kickstarter

VMI season 4 pitches

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

Rob Thomas wrote a mini-pilot for a season 4 that involved Veronica becoming an FBI agent, and guess what! It’s full of awful white guys who don’t seem to do anything and leave all the work to Veronica and her new colleague Nish-In-A-Wig - we mean Callie. Callie! Totally new character!
Nish goes off to infiltrate a strip club, while Veronica is sent back to high school in a tiny vest, to arrest a pervy principal…
...then she goes to question someone about a bomber but he turns out to BE the bomber!
He’s holding Nish-in-a-wig at knifepoint, argh what’s going to happen???
The show’s cancelled, that’s what happens. BUT we've got all your incredible pitches for what could have been in the years between the end of Veronica Mars season 3 and the movie!

Veronica Mars Investigations Investigations season 2

Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and special guest detective LaToya Ferguson to investigate the abiding mysteries of Veronica Mars season 2. Ends? Loose. Herrings? Red.

audio, Season 2, special episode, special guestVMI Pod22 October 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Abel Koontz, Christian Clemenson, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Woody Goodman, Steve Guttenberg, Cassidy Casablancas, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Aaron Echolls, Clarence Wiedman, Thumper, Fitzpatricks, Lilly Kane’s murder, Kristin Cavallari, Paris Hilton, guest stars, Trina Echolls, Celeste Kane, Duncan Kane, Bearded Duncan, Mannings, Meg Manning, Lizzie Manning, Grace Manning, Lucky, Leo D’Amato, Hannah Griffith, Dr Tom Griffith, retcons, UPN, limo, bus, bus crash, gas station, incorporation, rat, murder, bombs, explosions, mysteries, plot holes, text messages, red herrings, Thumper’s murder, Oscar, murder weapon, pizza, muggings, pizza muggings, sign language, LGBTQ, Versatile Toppings, My Mother the Fiend, friends, fiends, baby, books, novels, email, phones, LaToya Ferguson, special guest

VMI 2.21 Happy Go Lucky

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

There have been some rough episodes of Veronica Mars, but this has to be one of the roughest. Aaron fucking Echolls is found innocent on all charges!
And it’s somehow something to do with Veronica getting chlamydia? Fuck! Off!!
Woody Goodman is revealed to be a child abuser, and some of the kids in the bus crash were his victims.
As was Lucky the janitor, who starts firing a gun at the school, then is shot dead.
Terrence Cook is exonerated from the bus crash, but condemned to work at the casino for at least a decade.
Jackie LEAVES without even saying goodbye.
And then, after all that trauma, Veronica has to take finals! It’s too much!

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 21: Happy Go Lucky, delving into such mysteries as to whether Woody could have chosen a more disgusting password, what’s actually supposed to happen in court when someone shouts “Objection!” and why a load of physical evidence, witnesses and legal procedure <<< CHLAMYDIA. We have an XL edition of The LoDown to deal with all the legal bullshit in this episode.

Season 2, audioVMI Pod6 October 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Tommy Dohanic, Lucky, James Jordan, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Ethan Lavoie, John Prosky, Gay Storm, Annie Hinton, Don Worley, Hart, Mike Gaarde, bus crash, murder, death, assault, shooting, guns, blanks, child abuse, sexual abuse, sexual offenses, statutory rape, trauma, courtroom, trials, court cases, lawyers, shitty lawyers, jury, prosecution, defense, attorneys, judges, legal procedure, alibis, evidence, subpoena, Leo D’Amato, Duncan Kane, Marcos Oliveres, Peter Lilly Kane, Lilly Kane’s murder, bullshit, chlamydia, Thumper, Thumper’s murder, math, algebra, quadratic equations, veterans, war, People Magazine, Sexiest Man Alive, Kane scholarship, chia pets, press, batboys, passwords, cars, keying cars, lighting, computers, finals, exams, tests, Mannings, accidental porn, masks, catcher’s mask, bleach, email, MySpace, incorporation, objection, breakfast, mugshots, private plane, flight plans, monologuing, immunity, witnesses, shitnesses, POWER KEITH

VMI 2.20 Look Who's Stalking

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

Helen’s hatred of the incorporation plot turns out to be JUSTIFIED as Woody Goodman uses it as an excuse to fuck over Keith! He can’t take his own unconscious young woman to the hospital, so a reluctant Keith has to do it.
But then Woody tells the papers that she was Keith’s unconscious young woman, and you don’t sell out a Mars without your big plan for incorporation failing - UP YOURS, Woody!
Also having beef with Woody is Lucky the janitor, who is stalking Gia Goodman as a result.
The prom is cancelled, so Logan throws an alterna-prom in his hotel suite, which is an opportunity for everyone to get dressed up, get drunk, and get romantic with each other - Loganica 2.0???? Oh, so close! But no.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 20: Look Who’s Stalking, and probe such mysteries as the artworks in medical premises, dates to the batting cage, party pigs, and the many talents of Krysten Ritter.

audio, Season 2VMI Pod23 September 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Butters, Vincent Clemmons, Adam Hendershott, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Principal Clemmons, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Tommy Dohanic, Lucky, James Jordan, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Leo D’Amato, Max Greenfield, Lloyd Blankenship, Steve Rankin, prom, parties, dances, alterna-prom, Camelot Motel, stalking, stalker, incorporation, doctor, chlamydia, STIs, decor, Loganica, Aaron Echolls, Lilly Kane’s murder, Lilly Kane, murder weapons, Oscars, set dressing, art, hospital, medical, party pig, Can’t Get You Out of My Head, Kylie Minogue, Pan High, French bulldogs, Boston terriers, dogs, batting cages, brownies, Neptune Grand, accidental porn dialogue in Veronica Mars, chest hair, body hair, slander, libel, Cliff’s briefcase, bail, Manning parents, Stewart Manning, throwing a game, booze, drinks, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen

VMI 2.19 Nevermind the Buttocks

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

We meet another misfit Neptune boy with a hobby for weapons: Harry! Who has a bedroom full of arrows, a wall full of stag heads, and a dog that was killed by a driver of a green Barracuda car…
...which belongs to an old lady who doesn’t drive it, but guess who does? Liam fucking Fitzpatrick! To run his errands, such as:
i. Trying to kill Keith Mars, but instead getting whupped by our favourite power dad;
ii. Bullying the PCHers so they bring in more drug money;
iii. Mooning Gia Goodman;
iv. And being in league with Kendall Casablancas, who has a criminal record, a secret house, AND an identity she stole off a girl who died in car crash?!
Oh and just in case you thought the Lilly Kane murder case was solved last season, here it is again, as Aaron’s Oscar has been dug up from the Kane garden, with Lilly’s blood and Duncan’s hair on it!

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 19: Nevermind The Buttocks, and consider mysteries such as whether any of the Duncans are sexpeople, how you’d get a long-dead person’s blood onto a burned-up Oscar statuette, what Keith Mars’s Power Dad training regimen involves, and Jenny’s new feature Accidental Porn Dialogue in Veronica Mars.

audio, Season 2VMI Pod16 September 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Harry, Tommy Snider, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Butters, Vincent Clemmons, Adam Hendershott, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Principal Clemmons, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Billy, Matt Bush, Liam Fitzpatrick, Rodney Rowland, bus crash, Cervando, Fitzpatricks, dogs, Lilly Kane, Thumper, grifters, false identity, Duncan Kane, Lilly Kane’s murder, sex tapes, sex, Chekhov, Princess Mombi, Return to Oz, insurance, life insurance, Richard Casablancas, snakes, biology, car alarms, prom, Anarchist’s Cookbook, Accidental Porn Dialogue, Neptune Navigator, PCHers, John Wick, Kendall Shiflett, Priscilla Banks, henley, paddle, claddagh rings, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, stereotypically Irish things, fights, Action Keith, drugs, drug dealing, laughter, fake laughter, laughing, wire fraud, Oscars, Aaron Echolls, murder weapon, false evidence, Chekhov’s shower drain hair

VMI 2.17 Plan B

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

Logan wins Woody Goodman’s essay contest! And the prize is a really boring-looking job at the mayor’s office, spotting Woody in the gym and sorting the mail…
...But then he finds creepy secret video taken from within Woody’s house!
He also gets to plunge the detonator to explode Shark Field…
…With Thumper inside, chained to a urinal by some angry Fitzpatricks after, at long last, something goes Weevil’s way.
And it’s the school Sadie Hawkins dance, and what are school dances for if nobody kisses someone they weren’t supposed to be kissing, WALLACE?!?

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 17: Plan B, and consider such mysteries as how many different ways can you pronounce ‘urinal’, where to buy chloroform, and why this show insists on making Jenny watch Lamb and Woody doing reps but not anyone she wants to see doing reps doing reps.

audio, Season 2VMI Pod20 August 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Molly Fitzpatrick, Annie Campbell, Felix Toombs, Brad Bufanda, Bev, Furonda Brasfield, Kyle Gallner, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Tina Majorino, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Thumper, James Molina, Fitzpatricks, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Jane Kuhne, Valorie Curry, Danny Boyd, Taylor Sheridan, Patrick Wolff, Hector, Martin Yu, Mr Wu, Linda Castro, Mrs Murphy, Curly Moran, David Bitterman, Liam Fitzpatrick, Rod Rowland, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Luis, Easy Rider, essay contest, Shark Field, explosives, explosions, detonation, murder, witnesses, Felix’s murder, breakups, shocker, reps, sweat, argyle, Caligula, urinals, chloroform, assault, battery, Bible, swearing in, oaths, ANTM, America’s Next Top Model, River Stix, River Styx

VMI 2.12 Rashard and Wallace Go To White Castle

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

That hit and run that sent Wallace back to Neptune is being pinned on our favourite pure-hearted boy! And he has just five days to clear his name!
Veronica is on the case, and it involves a limo kidnapping scheme, infiltrating a frat party, and phone theft.
Oh and she also plants a camera in a church confessional booth, to find out which PCHer is working for the Fitzpatricks’ drug business and therefore killed Felix.
And it’s.…..Thumper! Who also seems to be the leader of the PCHers now, leaving Weevil powerless, beaten and bikeless.
Keith, meanwhile, is cooking hotdogs and listening to witness interviews about the bus crash.
And it’s karaoke night, again, so cover your ears and assume the brace position, you know the drill.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 12: Rashard and Wallace Go To White Castle, and probe such mysteries as why anyone would get into a limo they didn’t order, why there are so many hollowed-out books in this town, what Weevil would sing at karaoke, and being hit in the dick.

Season 2, audioVMI Pod7 July 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Terrence Cook, Detective Weevil, Detective Logan, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, PCHers, Thumper, James Molina, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Chicago, Rashard Rucker, hit and run, cover-up, basketball, Fitzpatricks, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Marcello Thedford, Super Huge Deputy, Liam Fitzpatrick, Robert Fitzpatrick, James Joseph O'Neil, Annie Campbell, Molly Fitzpatrick, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Jane, BJ Britt, Uncle Monte Rucker, Sterling Macer Jr, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Guy Abruti, Curtis Anderson, Neptune Grand, church, confession, confessional, props, books, Inga, evidence, club, White Castle, limo, fraternity, frat, party, parties, karaoke, Britt Daniel, Spoon, Lars, Curly Moran, smelly bus, Neptune Onlyplace, toga parties, journalists, clubs, tie dye, boobs, uncles, drive through, burgers, cool girl, phones, cellphones, mobile phones, switcheroo, hollow books, Bill O’Reilly, tapes, interviews, priests, catholicism, hymnal, Miss Dumas, rat, dead rat, Woody Goodman, cobbler, pantomime horse, costumes, panto

VMI 2.07 Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner

**A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:**

We have a new Duncan: Detective Duncan! Meg had written about a kid she babysat being psychologically abused, and he and Veronica set out to find who it is.
Veronica takes on all of Meg’s babysitting gigs, and let’s just say the toxic masculinity of Neptune is flourishing in the under-10s.
She also befriends Gia Goodman, which entails going to the sleepover of nightmares - if your nightmares include seeing a child punished, having your boobs mocked, and enduring some extremely basic-bore chat about pizza.
In all that free time Veronica has left over, she investigates the plastic surgeon who claims he witnessed Logan murdering Felix.
And the Casablancases deal with the repercussions of Richard’s scams and escape: the boys get trust funds, and Kendall gets nothing. And things aren’t looking good with her backup career of Logan. But… what about her backup backup Duncan?

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 7: Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner, and probe such mysteries as the French maid trope and the Milk Tray Man; which is more tedious at Gia’s sleepover, the boob insults and Pretty Woman chat or the pizza carbs chat; and why this episode would mention a bachelor auction fundraiser for the sheriff’s department but not actually show us the frantic bidding for a date with Lamb and Deputy Sacks. So cruel!!!

Season 2, audioVMI Pod20 May 2020Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Ms Hauser, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Kyle Gallner, Cassidy Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Dick Casablancas, Richard Casablancas, Betina Casablancas, Madison Sinclair, Amanda Noret, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Woody Goodman, Steve Guttenberg, Jessica Fuller, Meg Manning, Manning family, Grace Manning, Manning parents, Tom Griffith, Rick Peters, Felix’s murder, child abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, Dirty Dancing, babysitting, milk, Kari Coleman, Switched at Birth, Jane, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, STIs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, tropes, awful boys of Neptune, Edwin, Albert, Stuart Fuller, photoshop, mirrors, back of heads, Rihanna, sleepovers, basics, pizza, Pon De Replay, hair, butts, Pretty Woman, panty raids, Milk Tray, Milk Tray Man, turtlenecks, air vents, handwriting, graphology, money, finances, FBLOA, Future Business Leaders of America, French maids’ outfits, shit parents, sexpeople, inappropriate behaviour, propositions, toilet office, plastic surgeon, cigars, cigar shop, golf, incorporation, burglary, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn