Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman are joined again by Special Agent LaToya Ferguson to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 and try to solve its many remaining mysteries, including (but not limited to): who is the fifth lady of Veronica Mars? Will we ever get more Veronica Mars, and in which forms? Why has it taken so long for Veronica to have a fun night out?? Was Logan fridged? What IS 'fridged'? And was Jane The Therapist the criminal mastermind behind all of it???
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Veronica has choices to make! NYC or Neptune? Lawyering or detectiving? Piz or Logan? Try to guess, go on, guess.
Armed with her favourite tools, a bug, a long lens and a taser, Veronica closes in on Carrie’s murderer...
...And it’s not any of the candidates you thought it might be in the first half of the movie - it’s the guy you barely saw at all, Cobb! Who? Cobb! You remember Cobb.
Cobb!
The death toll rises - Deputy Sacks, Gia, possibly a cat - and our beloved Keith ends up in ICU.
Sheriff Dan Lamb is happy to frame Logan, doesn’t want to catch the real killer, and plants a gun in Weevil’s hand to make it look like Celeste shot him in self-defence. Veronica can’t resist getting her teeth into all that Neptune corruption.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the second half of Veronica Mars: the 2014 movie, and delve into such mysteries as: and delve into such mysteries as how long Pizvonica have been a thing, why Sweaty Luke is just there for some kind of gross 1950s-style plot, and whether these kids ever needed to cover up Susan's death at all, but especially after the statute of limitations has elapsed.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
91,585 fans missed the show so much that they kickstarted a movie! So off we all go back to Neptune to see some old pals, like Wallace! Principal Clemmons! Gia Goodman! Sweaty Luke! Corny! Aaaand Logan being suspected of murder.
Plus some new pals, like Mac’s hot new hair! Piz’s boss Ira Glass! a new Sheriff Lamb who is just as shitty as the old Sheriff Lamb! And an intense Logan fan in a wig.
We’re not so pleased to see the Pizvonica sex tape again, and it causes a big punchup at the high school reunion.
We also reluctantly reunite with Celeste Kane, as she shoots the now upstanding husband and dad Weevil.
And even though Veronica’s supposedly happy living in New York City, in a relationship with Piz, about to become a big shot lawyer, you know she can’t resist a Logan in distress.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the first half of Veronica Mars: the 2014 movie, and delve into such mysteries as: how Keith has such a spacious lovely home these days, Dax Shepard's van, why Mac and Wallace force the heinous reunion on Veronica and poor poor Piz, and leg erotica.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS SEASON 3:
Murders! Rapes! Frats! The Dreaded Feminists! Jenny's beautiful wife Mindy! Eggs! Wigs! Bland white boys! Obnoxious white boys! Bland obnoxious white boys! Loganica together! Loganica asunder! Aaaaand... Weevil’s big red toolbox!
Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and returning Special Agent LaToya Ferguson, to reopen the cold case files and try to crack some of Veronica Mars season 3's unsolved mysteries, such as: where's Wallace? Why is Lucky-in-a-wig? Is Professor Landry actually hot? Ah screw it, let's all just escape to Jenny's island where she cavorts with her beautiful wife Mindy and Wallace happily flies his little planes on the next beach over.
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As we know, sex people never prosper in this show, and Piz is bruised from Logan’s attack and Veronica is humiliated - and ready for revenge.
Veronica’s search for the sex tape culprit takes her from Piz to Logan to Dick to Chip to some other asshole Dominick to some other other asshole Gory to the secret society The Castle to JAKE KANE!?!?!
Of course, to cap a season that began with the Stanford Prison Experiment, we get the Milgram Experiment; and, unfortunately, it is performed on Wallace as he helps Veronica investigate the Castle.
Veronica breaks into what turns out to be Jake Kane’s new lonely bachelor mansion, steals his hard drive, but leaves a shred of her sweater snagged on the doggy door she shimmied in through, and is caught on the neighbour’s security tapes.
Keith destroys the security footage of Veronica - and maybe also his chances of winning the sheriff election. Did he win?? Find out next epi- oh but then the show was dormant for seven years.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episode 20: The Bitch Is Back, and consider such mysteries as how this show, even in its last moments pre-cancellation, finds ways to introduce new awful white boys, each more revolting than the last; how many supercomputers this college contains; and whether Jake Kane painted the big terrifying portraits of his children himself.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Rock star Paul Rudd is here to play a show at Hearst College, to fundraise for Piz’s awful radio station - but oh no! His backing tapes are missing! Presumed stolen! They’re not. A crime-free mystery!
New campus celebrity Apollo has written a hit memoir about being a child soldier in Uganda - but WAS he? - and Veronica is hired by someone claiming to be his dad - but IS he? Yes to both. Another crime-free mystery! How relaxing.
Until! Remember when Weevil was falsely accused of stealing Veronica’s necklace, and falsely accused of stealing the fairground cash box, and… anyway, in today’s edition of “Let’s fuck up Weevil for no good reason,” he’s accused of making fake IDs.
Someone has leaked a sex tape of Pizvonica! Nobody wants to see that! Especially not Logan, who beats up Piz.
Acting Sheriff Mars is investigating a string of Fitzpatricky burglaries, that threaten his sheriff campaign AND his friendship with Cliff.Vinnie is also running for Sheriff, and might be involved in the burglaries too?
And Big Dick Richard Casablancas is back to spend some time with Little Dick before going to prison for all his crimes in the first two seasons. And at long last, Dick Casablancas shows some human emotions.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 17, 18 and 19: I Know Weevil's Wobble Tapes, and consider such mysteries as what Wallace has been up to in all the time he has not been on screen, what a Weevil-based Law & Order spinoff would be like, and whether that's Rob Thomas in a wig? After all the wigs he has inflicted on others!
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Veronica’s in jail for helping Josh escape jail - though later she seems to get away with helping Josh get away with kidnapping, obtaining his inheritance early, and fleeing the country.
Even though Josh didn’tactually kill his dad - turns out his dad killed his dad, for life insurance purposes.
And, it turns out the Dean was killed by Lucky In A Wig, for framing Professor Landry purposes!
And, Professor Landry kills Mindy O’Dell! For writing both of them off the show purposes?
And, Sheriff Lamb is killed by Steve Batando! So Deputy Sacks kills Steve! And that’s the season finale of Veronica Mars- wait, there are still several episodes to go?
Keith is sheriff again, anyway.
At least somepeople are having fun: Mac, Bronson, Parker and Logan do a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt, and find a little romance on the way.
And Veronica and Piz get together! Pizvonica! A pairing as sizzling as lukewarm oatmeal.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 14, 15 and 16: Papa's Un-American Mars Bars, and delve into such mysteries as which Gilmore Girl Wallace is, why both Marses are worse when Keith is officially doing sheriff duties, and how this show's compulsion to make cultural references even infiltrates the last words of a dying man.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Real life Patty Hearst plays a fake Hearst; and real life kidnapped person Patty Hearst plays a fake kidnapped person. It’s all something to do with share prices and a rich-people divorce settlement and she AND her husband have both been having affairs with the dog walker?
Update on Frats vs Dreaded Feminists: head fratter Chip is found unconscious, with his head shaved and a plastic egg shoved up his bum with a cryptic message inside.
And the Dreaded Feminists make Veronica wonder whether all the rapes were fake, but NO, they were real, and the rapist has got Veronica cornered and drugged again.
The Dean hires Keith to investigate whether his wife Mindy is cheating on him with her colleague. She isn’t - but she is, of course, cheating on him with the Dean’s colleague Professor Landry.
And having confronted them in bed together, the Dean is found dead with a gunshot wound to the head. It’s ruled a suicide, but... is it actually murder?
And after all that, we’re actually relieved to sit through another stolen animals plot, wherein Veronica and Mac infiltrate an animal rights group to get back a lab monkey and twenty rats.
There’s even another culturally insensitive hat party!
But it’s all worth it, because Mac meets a cute guy!
And they get the monkey back!
(And the rats, but nobody cares about them. (Except Jenny.))
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 8, 9 and 10: Lord of the Spit Monkeys, and ponder such mysteries as how Dick is not banned from everywhere already, how this show made us feel bad for awful Chip, and why they don’t just keep Piz dancing instead of talking.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Veronica infiltrates a sorority to investigate Parker’s rape, and instead finds a secret medical marijuana farm.
The ongoing campus rapist plot boils down to frats versus feminists. The two genders!
Wallace and Logan participate in some recreation of the Stanford Prison Experiment, and unfortunately we have to endure it with them.
Weevil is back! And starts working for Keith! But then punches a suspect, so he’s fired.
Logan discovers some financial irregularities that reveal that he has a secret half-brother!
Loganica are having problems, because he likes playing poker and she likes The Arts and putting trackers on him.
Plus: some SPORTSBALL problem; a Fitzpatrick kills another Fitzpatrick; Veronica has a new job in the library SHH NO TALKING; and Keith takes a case for a hot lady.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 2, 3 and 4: My Big Fat Wichita Linebacker Don’t Surf, and dig into such mysteries as how and why a professor would do a Stanford Prison Experiment-esque study; whether traps on your boobs are booby traps; and why the Chippendales landed on ‘shirt closures’ as their sexy outfit of choice.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
College! Veronica’s outsmarting her professors, driving a new car, and getting drunk. Conveniently, Logan, Wallace, Mac and Dick are also all at Hearst College.
Along with new roommates/friends: bland white boy Piz, who hires Veronica to find all his worldly possessions, which have been stolen by a fake welcome committee; and Parker, who is punished for being a popular and fun-loving sexperson character by becoming the latest victim of the campus rapist who struck in season 2, and is still attacking women and shaving their heads.
Keith, meanwhile, is picking up Cormac Fitzpatrick from prison and taking him to a desert safe house to reunite with Kendall Casablancas.
Being a Fitzpatrick, though, he’s a violent jerk; so, Kendall is murdered, and Keith might be also. TBD.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episode 1: Welcome Wagon, and consider such mysteries as whether Logan is right that it wasn’t possible to make Veronica more butch, why Lucky the dead season 2 janitor has turned up as an academic in a terrrrrible wig, and when Dick Casablancas learned to cartwheel. Plus we reunite with some old friends: tiny jackets, Brigadoon references, the black and white argyle shirt, and an actual Chekhov’s Gun!
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