Posts tagged Wallace Fennel
VMI: Voluptuous Male Idiot, a recap of Play It Again Dick

A LONG TIME AGO ON THE VERONICA MARS SPIN-OFF WEB SERIES PLAY IT AGAIN DICK:

  • Ryan Hansen persuades the CW suits to let him make a pilot for a Dick Casablancas spin-off show.

  • So then he has to persuade the Veronica Mars actors to come back to reprise their roles...

  • And then they all film Private Dick! Wherein Dick Casablancas is a private detective investigating the murders of several beloved Veronica Mars characters.

  • There are masks! Punchings! Sexytimes! Pull-ups! Ghost Cassidy Casablancas! And bikinis as funeral-wear!

  • And a catchphrase that never really takes off?

  • Oh and a big dance number. Twice.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the official but non-canonical Veronica Mars spin-off web series Play It Again, Dick, and contemplate such mysteries as why Madison Sinclair is the MVP of the piece, how there is so much filler in such a short show, and why the CW didn't commission a Wallace'n'cookies-focused spin-off The Great Wallace Bake-Off

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VMI 1.01 Pilot: the RErecap

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • We meet Veronica Mars! High school detective with tiny jackets and flowbee hair, plus a heartbreak, an absent mother, a murdered best friend and a rape to deal with.

  • We meet Logan Echolls, a rich boy with a rage problem.

  • We meet Duncan Kane, a human screensaver.

  • We meet Wallace Fennel, taped to a flagpole then recruited to do Veronica’s bidding for the next several years. Wallace, we have seen the future and you should run! Now! Run!

  • We meet Sheriff Lamb, local law enforcement with bad jokes and even worse morals.

  • And we meet Keith Mars, disgraced ex-sheriff, private investigator and dad of the century - but why’s he being so weird about Veronica surveilling beige billionaire Jake Kane?

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Veronica Mars Investigations Investigations: Season 4

Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman are joined again by Special Agent LaToya Ferguson to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 and try to solve its many remaining mysteries, including (but not limited to): who is the fifth lady of Veronica Mars? Will we ever get more Veronica Mars, and in which forms? Why has it taken so long for Veronica to have a fun night out?? Was Logan fridged? What IS 'fridged'? And was Jane The Therapist the criminal mastermind behind all of it???

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VMI 4.08 Years, Continents, Bloodshed

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • A thing happens that turned the Marshmallows into Burnt Marshmallows, turned Veronica into a widow, and turned our twitter mentions into a shitshow whenever we said anything even slightly critical of Logan. But before that: this season wraps up some plots!

  • Dodie and Alonzo behead Richard Casablancas, with Matty looking on, and Clyde smiling the tiniest hint of a smile, even pauses on eating his sandwich for a moment.

  • Matty sells the Maloof ring to fund the reopening of the Sea Sprite, the only bit left of the Old Neptune boardwalk, because Big Dick’s plans to gentrify the town still happened even with him gone.

  • Keith’s medical problems are solved offscreen - just a bad combination of meds! He’s back to Keithing around! Although he has to dump Clyde as a friend, although we thought he already did that last episode? Is it our memory that is on the blink?

  • Denouement time: Penn’s the bomber! Or is it murderhead Don? No, he’s a last minute red herring, albeit a herring that has been murdered in an abandoned power plant and made to look like a suicide, and the bomber is definitely Penn and the Marses are stuck in a remote location with him - wait, wasn’t that last episode? Seriously got to get the doctor to check our memory...

  • Tick tick tick can the Marses find the limerick bomb in time? Yes! Keith is the town hero once more, after defusing the bomb Penn had planted at Kane high school.

  • But oh no, that’s not Penn’s last limerick or his last bomb; and after a quick pitstop for a Loganica wedding, Chekhov’s “don’t forget to move your car for street cleaning” blows up and takes Logan with it.

  • And Veronica, at last, goes to therapy, and leaves Neptune.

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VMI 4.07 Gods of War

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • Well after last episode where people told each other the plot, things are actually happening! Penn is, at last, the suspect for three of the bombings.

  • Hot on his trail, the Marses interrupt his sexy minibreak with Carol to grab him and get that $250,000 reward - but Dodie and Alonzo show up to take out Veronica!

  • But then, the PCHers turn up! and Weevil calls off the killing with a bat of his very powerful eyelashes.

  • Richard Casablancas buys Matty a car to persuade her to sell him the Sea Sprite, but he might regret it because here she is breaking into his house.

  • He also might regret fucking over Clyde, who made the mistake of taking a Casablancas’s word as a binding agreement. Never again!

  • Heartbreak too for Veronica as she admits to Nicole that she bugged her office, and Nicole immediately ends their friendship.

  • Heartbreak for us as Veronica has sexy sex with Leo but it’s all just a dream! With Wallace watching, weird.

  • The shootout with Dodie and Alonzo prompts the Marses to make big changes. Keith wants out of the PI life before Veronica gets hurt.

  • And Veronica accepts Logan’s proposal.

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VMI 4.03 Keep Calm and Party On

• Daniel Maloof’s having a shit one. He is being blackmailed because he was videoed masturbating to a cam girl. He’s still being accused of murder by Penn all over the TV. He is kidnapped, strung up, stoned and dickpunched by the Carrs. Then he is rescued by Alonzo and Dodie, who are going to kill him - but Daniel turns the tables! And the other side is also really shitty.
• Sea Sprite Bombing Suspect of the Week is Matty’s pick: mole-having gum vending machine-filling Perry, who blows himself up when the police come for him.
• But Veronica doesn’t buy that he’s a culprit, and with another bomb going off at the end of the episode, the mystery continues. Unsurprisingly.
• More surprising is that Veronica actually has some fun! She gets to try on Nicole’s punching gloves, drop some E, dance dance dance - then puke puke puke the next morning.
• Keith’s also having fun - he and Clyde bond over golf!
• And Penn and his group of Murderheads are, unfortunately, still in our lives, dredging up Lilly Kane’s murder, advancing some wild theories about the Sea Sprite bomber - but one does give Veronica the link between the bombing and El Despiadado.

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VMI 4.01 Spring Break Forever

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • SPRING BREAK!! Neptune is full of douchey boys and drunk girls, what could possibly go wrong??

  • What goes wrong? A bomb goes off at the party motel, that’s what’s wrong! Killing four people, one of whom is the nephew of El Despiadado, a MEXICAN CRIME LORD oh Rob Thomas, must we?

  • We must, and El Despiadado must send two guys to Neptune to chop off the head of whoever’s responsible for the bombing.

  • But they’re not the only family with a stake in this crime: the brother of congressman Daniel Maloof lost his hand and his fiancee, and the Maloofs hire the Marses to investigate. And Matty, the teenage daughter of the motel owner who died, is tugging at Veronica’s heartstrings.

  • We also meet some new characters: pizza delivery guy Patton Oswalt - er, Penn; Mr Hu, whose supermarket is being sabotaged with rats; and super cool bar owner Nicole, who sure can punch.

  • Plus we have the return of ambulance-chasing Cliff; a still-recovering Keith; and Big Dick Casablancas, who’s campaigning to Make Neptune Great Again.

  • Logan is also back, and he proposes to Veronica! What a prick! And he plays with Wallace’s baby! Ugh how dare he!

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VMI: Mr Kiss and Tell

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Mr Kiss and Tell, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham:

  • A young woman has been raped and beaten, and, once again, the Neptune Grand hires Veronica to investigate - only so they don’t get sued for hiring the undocumented worker who has been accused.

  • But, having cleared him, Veronica keeps going with the case, to get justice for the victim, Grace Manning - that’s right, Meg’s little sister. A decade on from being locked in a closet by her parents, and still having a shit time.

  • Grace is one of several sex workers who have been attacked by this man, a SPORTSBALL coach. I knew I was right not to trust sportsball!

  • So Veronica and Leo team up, dress up and wig up to go to Vegas and bust this man. A golf course is involved - sports really come out of this novel badly.

  • Meanwhile, the sheriff’s election looms into view, with a new candidate, Marcia - with whom Keith has history. Tense sad history, not sexy history. We assume Keith’s pelvis is still knitting itself back together.

  • Keith and Cliff put together a civil case, Weevil vs the sheriff’s department and their evidence planting. But which does Weevil need more: justice, or to stop his family falling apart?

  • And Logan is ashore! He and Veronica are having problems, with her overwork and his months-long absences - but, they do get a puppy! And the puppy’s called Pony! A satisfying conclusion to Veronica’s years-long pony joke.

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VMI: The Thousand Dollar Tan Line

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: The Thousand Dollar Tan Line, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham:

  • Two months have passed since the movie, and it’s SPRING BREAK! Neptune’s popping off! Until two young women disappear, first Hayley and then Aurora, presumed kidnapped.

  • The spring breakers stay away and the Neptune Grand is losing business, so the glamorous owner hires Veronica to investigate the disappearances.

  • This case means Veronica gets back into her sexy disguises to infiltrate house parties run by the heirs to a Mexican drug cartel.

  • Lamb doesn’t care about the Mexican drug cartel heirs, and neither should you because - BIG TWIST - they have nothing to do with it! They’re just rich guys throwing parties. Turns out, Hayley went off to Bakersfield and was murdered by her jealous boyfriend :(

  • And, BIG TWIST, Aurora is part of her own kidnapping plot with her scammer dad, who she’s also double-crossing to get the ransom money!

  • Oh and BIG TWIST, Aurora’s stepmom is LIANNE MARS!

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VMI: the movie, part 2

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • Veronica has choices to make! NYC or Neptune? Lawyering or detectiving? Piz or Logan? Try to guess, go on, guess.

  • Armed with her favourite tools, a bug, a long lens and a taser, Veronica closes in on Carrie’s murderer...

  • ...And it’s not any of the candidates you thought it might be in the first half of the movie - it’s the guy you barely saw at all, Cobb! Who? Cobb! You remember Cobb.

  • Cobb!

  • The death toll rises - Deputy Sacks, Gia, possibly a cat - and our beloved Keith ends up in ICU.

  • Sheriff Dan Lamb is happy to frame Logan, doesn’t want to catch the real killer, and plants a gun in Weevil’s hand to make it look like Celeste shot him in self-defence. Veronica can’t resist getting her teeth into all that Neptune corruption.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the second half of Veronica Mars: the 2014 movie, and delve into such mysteries as: and delve into such mysteries as how long Pizvonica have been a thing, why Sweaty Luke is just there for some kind of gross 1950s-style plot, and whether these kids ever needed to cover up Susan's death at all, but especially after the statute of limitations has elapsed.

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