Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman are joined again by Special Agent LaToya Ferguson to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 and try to solve its many remaining mysteries, including (but not limited to): who is the fifth lady of Veronica Mars? Will we ever get more Veronica Mars, and in which forms? Why has it taken so long for Veronica to have a fun night out?? Was Logan fridged? What IS 'fridged'? And was Jane The Therapist the criminal mastermind behind all of it???
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
A thing happens that turned the Marshmallows into Burnt Marshmallows, turned Veronica into a widow, and turned our twitter mentions into a shitshow whenever we said anything even slightly critical of Logan. But before that: this season wraps up some plots!
Dodie and Alonzo behead Richard Casablancas, with Matty looking on, and Clyde smiling the tiniest hint of a smile, even pauses on eating his sandwich for a moment.
Matty sells the Maloof ring to fund the reopening of the Sea Sprite, the only bit left of the Old Neptune boardwalk, because Big Dick’s plans to gentrify the town still happened even with him gone.
Keith’s medical problems are solved offscreen - just a bad combination of meds! He’s back to Keithing around! Although he has to dump Clyde as a friend, although we thought he already did that last episode? Is it our memory that is on the blink?
Denouement time: Penn’s the bomber! Or is it murderhead Don? No, he’s a last minute red herring, albeit a herring that has been murdered in an abandoned power plant and made to look like a suicide, and the bomber is definitely Penn and the Marses are stuck in a remote location with him - wait, wasn’t that last episode? Seriously got to get the doctor to check our memory...
Tick tick tick can the Marses find the limerick bomb in time? Yes! Keith is the town hero once more, after defusing the bomb Penn had planted at Kane high school.
But oh no, that’s not Penn’s last limerick or his last bomb; and after a quick pitstop for a Loganica wedding, Chekhov’s “don’t forget to move your car for street cleaning” blows up and takes Logan with it.
And Veronica, at last, goes to therapy, and leaves Neptune.
OK, here’s what we know about the bombings now: Big Dick did the Sea Sprite one. Clyde did the Perry Walsh one.
The rest are still unaccounted for - but there might be something in the FBI’s theory that a serial killer has been operating in Neptune for years, so the Marses investigate some deaths registered as accidental but maybe not.
Big Dick and Clyde know that Keith knows that they’ve been buying up property with all those shell companies and leaving dead ducks in Penn’s bed.
Places Veronica will go: the strip club, to see Vinnie; the Pi Sig house, to see some frats; Dodie and Alonzo’s room, to snoop; and Comrade Quacks, to get drunk and dance with her two sexiest friends Nicole and Leo.
Places Veronica won’t go: couples therapy with Logan.
Logan has been called back to active duty though in an undisclosed location for an undisclosed length of time, so their relationship will just have to fix itself in absentia.
Before he left, though, Logan managed to track down Daniel Maloof’s hacker, a neo-Nazi teen who has noticed that Daniel transferred a large amount of Bitcoin to two Mexican assassins.
Oh and in case you forgot, Veronica is into The Big Lebowski.
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Nicole and Veronica get high together, shoot guns together, and tell each other their secrets - except one, which is that Nicole sold Comrade Quack’s to a buyer who is Richard Casablancas wearing a plastic nose and false moustache, stacked on top of two other Richard Casablancases in a really big trenchcoat.
Keith also does some shooting, when Clyde takes him duck hunting and leaves his phone unattended near a Mars. But the text messages Keith snoops into put him off the theory that Clyde and Big Dick are behind the bombings.
Instead, Keith realises all the bombs killed people who were sex offenders. Cmon, that’s just Neptune, where everyone’s on the registry! But he decides it means Nicole is the bomber, taking revenge on rapists.
Other tenuous bombing suspect of the week: Weevil! He’s receiving money from Clyde to sabotage the town, according to Sea Sprite Shitter Juan when Veronica puts the pressure on.
Then for our weekly bomb: this one goes off in Comrade Quack’s! Don’t you dare take our precious Nicole from us, show!!
Someone claiming to be the bomber has sent a note to the police, which keeps the murderheads busy, and forces Mayor Dobbins to streak through town!
Murderhead Carol deduces that the note was written by Richard Casablancas, and to celebrate, she and Penn kiss! But their passion is interrupted by a gross discovery.
Here are some palate cleansers though: Vinnie gets a free jacket, Alonzo and Dodie get into lavender lattes, and Cliff gets a puppy!
A LONG TIME AGO, ON VERONICA MARS:
There’s a secret society! Because where there are rich white boys, there are secret societies.
Someone is trying to pin a fake ID racket on Veronica. She didn’t do it!
What she is guilty of is being great at karaoke.
Duncan, however… not so much.
And even though you thought the Echolls family couldn’t get any bleaker, it gets a ton bleaker.
