Posts tagged review
VMI: Village Mostly Invisible, an investigation of Brigadoon

A LONG TIME AGO IN THE 1954 MGM MUSICAL BRIGADOON:

  • New York City gents Gene Kelly and Van Johnson are lost in the Scottish Highlands! They want to shoot some birds, but instead stumble upon a village that’s not on the map… Brigadoon!

  • Everyone’s dancing around the town and preparing for a wedding that evening; meanwhile, sister of the bride Cyd Charisse gets to fall in love with Gene Kelly on the heathery hillsides.

  • But something’s weird, and it’s not just the fake Scottish accents, the very tight tartan trousers, the two-dimensional mountains and all the day-drinking: it’s that the village is under an enchantment whereby it only appears on one day every hundred years, and it will disappear forever if anyone tries to leave.

  • Then someone tries to leave!

  • Then Gene Kelly and Van Johnson have to leave before the village goes sleepy-byes for another hundred years. But Gene left his heart behind...

  • Lucky for him, there’s a special wake-up-Brigadoon-early clause buried deep in the small print of the enchantment, because of course there is.

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VMI: Vanquishing Malevolent Invaders, the crimes of Home Alone

A LONG TIME AGO IN HOME ALONE:

  • In an enormous house in Chicago, the enormous McAllister family is preparing to leave for a Christmas trip to Paris.

  • But, when designated naughty child Kevin causes a ruckus at dinner, he is sent to sleep in the attic as punishment.

  • Then in the chaos of being such an enormous family with shitloads of kids, the McAllisters accidentally fly off to Paris without Kevin, leaving him Home Alone.

  • Thus, an 8-year-old who has never even packed a suitcase before has to fend for himself in a hostile adult world.

  • AND fend off two serial burglars who are determined to break into the enormous McAllister house! Even after Kevin subjects them to multiple kinds of potentially fatal harm.

  • A grim cavalcade of child neglect and violence: ho ho ho Merrrry Christmas!

Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and resident legal expert Lo Dodds to investigate the crimes that take place in the harrowing cavalcade of ultraviolence that is Home Alone, and learn what the penalties would be for such misdeeds as hanging a child on a hook, stealing a toothbrush, leaving your 8-year-old unattended while you jet off to Paris, and shooting a burglar in the dick.

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VMI: Voluptuous Male Idiot, a recap of Play It Again Dick

A LONG TIME AGO ON THE VERONICA MARS SPIN-OFF WEB SERIES PLAY IT AGAIN DICK:

  • Ryan Hansen persuades the CW suits to let him make a pilot for a Dick Casablancas spin-off show.

  • So then he has to persuade the Veronica Mars actors to come back to reprise their roles...

  • And then they all film Private Dick! Wherein Dick Casablancas is a private detective investigating the murders of several beloved Veronica Mars characters.

  • There are masks! Punchings! Sexytimes! Pull-ups! Ghost Cassidy Casablancas! And bikinis as funeral-wear!

  • And a catchphrase that never really takes off?

  • Oh and a big dance number. Twice.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the official but non-canonical Veronica Mars spin-off web series Play It Again, Dick, and contemplate such mysteries as why Madison Sinclair is the MVP of the piece, how there is so much filler in such a short show, and why the CW didn't commission a Wallace'n'cookies-focused spin-off The Great Wallace Bake-Off

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VMI 1.01 Pilot: the RErecap

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • We meet Veronica Mars! High school detective with tiny jackets and flowbee hair, plus a heartbreak, an absent mother, a murdered best friend and a rape to deal with.

  • We meet Logan Echolls, a rich boy with a rage problem.

  • We meet Duncan Kane, a human screensaver.

  • We meet Wallace Fennel, taped to a flagpole then recruited to do Veronica’s bidding for the next several years. Wallace, we have seen the future and you should run! Now! Run!

  • We meet Sheriff Lamb, local law enforcement with bad jokes and even worse morals.

  • And we meet Keith Mars, disgraced ex-sheriff, private investigator and dad of the century - but why’s he being so weird about Veronica surveilling beige billionaire Jake Kane?

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Q&A and LoDown Special

Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and our resident legal expert Lo Dodds to answer your questions, and find out all about why you shouldn't represent yourself in court, what you have to do to get a jury trial or a marriage license, whether Veronica has sadness-clothes, and whether showrunners could stop mining the traumas of young female characters for drama.

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VMI second birthday celebrations!

Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and our resident legal expert Lo Dodds to celebrate the completion of the second year of Veronica Mars Investigations, with a parade of outtakes - about what happens to police dogs when they retire, how old is too old to join the FBI, gambling with pasta, and the very real dangers of huffing petrol (especially at any point in time since the Great Depression).

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Veronica Mars Investigations Investigations: Season 4

Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman are joined again by Special Agent LaToya Ferguson to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 and try to solve its many remaining mysteries, including (but not limited to): who is the fifth lady of Veronica Mars? Will we ever get more Veronica Mars, and in which forms? Why has it taken so long for Veronica to have a fun night out?? Was Logan fridged? What IS 'fridged'? And was Jane The Therapist the criminal mastermind behind all of it???

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VMI 4.08 Years, Continents, Bloodshed

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • A thing happens that turned the Marshmallows into Burnt Marshmallows, turned Veronica into a widow, and turned our twitter mentions into a shitshow whenever we said anything even slightly critical of Logan. But before that: this season wraps up some plots!

  • Dodie and Alonzo behead Richard Casablancas, with Matty looking on, and Clyde smiling the tiniest hint of a smile, even pauses on eating his sandwich for a moment.

  • Matty sells the Maloof ring to fund the reopening of the Sea Sprite, the only bit left of the Old Neptune boardwalk, because Big Dick’s plans to gentrify the town still happened even with him gone.

  • Keith’s medical problems are solved offscreen - just a bad combination of meds! He’s back to Keithing around! Although he has to dump Clyde as a friend, although we thought he already did that last episode? Is it our memory that is on the blink?

  • Denouement time: Penn’s the bomber! Or is it murderhead Don? No, he’s a last minute red herring, albeit a herring that has been murdered in an abandoned power plant and made to look like a suicide, and the bomber is definitely Penn and the Marses are stuck in a remote location with him - wait, wasn’t that last episode? Seriously got to get the doctor to check our memory...

  • Tick tick tick can the Marses find the limerick bomb in time? Yes! Keith is the town hero once more, after defusing the bomb Penn had planted at Kane high school.

  • But oh no, that’s not Penn’s last limerick or his last bomb; and after a quick pitstop for a Loganica wedding, Chekhov’s “don’t forget to move your car for street cleaning” blows up and takes Logan with it.

  • And Veronica, at last, goes to therapy, and leaves Neptune.

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VMI 4.07 Gods of War

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • Well after last episode where people told each other the plot, things are actually happening! Penn is, at last, the suspect for three of the bombings.

  • Hot on his trail, the Marses interrupt his sexy minibreak with Carol to grab him and get that $250,000 reward - but Dodie and Alonzo show up to take out Veronica!

  • But then, the PCHers turn up! and Weevil calls off the killing with a bat of his very powerful eyelashes.

  • Richard Casablancas buys Matty a car to persuade her to sell him the Sea Sprite, but he might regret it because here she is breaking into his house.

  • He also might regret fucking over Clyde, who made the mistake of taking a Casablancas’s word as a binding agreement. Never again!

  • Heartbreak too for Veronica as she admits to Nicole that she bugged her office, and Nicole immediately ends their friendship.

  • Heartbreak for us as Veronica has sexy sex with Leo but it’s all just a dream! With Wallace watching, weird.

  • The shootout with Dodie and Alonzo prompts the Marses to make big changes. Keith wants out of the PI life before Veronica gets hurt.

  • And Veronica accepts Logan’s proposal.

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VMI 4.06 Entering a World of Pain

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:

  • OK, here’s what we know about the bombings now: Big Dick did the Sea Sprite one. Clyde did the Perry Walsh one.

  • The rest are still unaccounted for - but there might be something in the FBI’s theory that a serial killer has been operating in Neptune for years, so the Marses investigate some deaths registered as accidental but maybe not.

  • Big Dick and Clyde know that Keith knows that they’ve been buying up property with all those shell companies and leaving dead ducks in Penn’s bed.

  • Places Veronica will go: the strip club, to see Vinnie; the Pi Sig house, to see some frats; Dodie and Alonzo’s room, to snoop; and Comrade Quacks, to get drunk and dance with her two sexiest friends Nicole and Leo.

  • Places Veronica won’t go: couples therapy with Logan.

  • Logan has been called back to active duty though in an undisclosed location for an undisclosed length of time, so their relationship will just have to fix itself in absentia.

  • Before he left, though, Logan managed to track down Daniel Maloof’s hacker, a neo-Nazi teen who has noticed that Daniel transferred a large amount of Bitcoin to two Mexican assassins.

  • Oh and in case you forgot, Veronica is into The Big Lebowski.

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