Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman are joined again by Special Agent LaToya Ferguson to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 and try to solve its many remaining mysteries, including (but not limited to): who is the fifth lady of Veronica Mars? Will we ever get more Veronica Mars, and in which forms? Why has it taken so long for Veronica to have a fun night out?? Was Logan fridged? What IS 'fridged'? And was Jane The Therapist the criminal mastermind behind all of it???
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Well after last episode where people told each other the plot, things are actually happening! Penn is, at last, the suspect for three of the bombings.
Hot on his trail, the Marses interrupt his sexy minibreak with Carol to grab him and get that $250,000 reward - but Dodie and Alonzo show up to take out Veronica!
But then, the PCHers turn up! and Weevil calls off the killing with a bat of his very powerful eyelashes.
Richard Casablancas buys Matty a car to persuade her to sell him the Sea Sprite, but he might regret it because here she is breaking into his house.
He also might regret fucking over Clyde, who made the mistake of taking a Casablancas’s word as a binding agreement. Never again!
Heartbreak too for Veronica as she admits to Nicole that she bugged her office, and Nicole immediately ends their friendship.
Heartbreak for us as Veronica has sexy sex with Leo but it’s all just a dream! With Wallace watching, weird.
The shootout with Dodie and Alonzo prompts the Marses to make big changes. Keith wants out of the PI life before Veronica gets hurt.
And Veronica accepts Logan’s proposal.
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Nicole and Veronica get high together, shoot guns together, and tell each other their secrets - except one, which is that Nicole sold Comrade Quack’s to a buyer who is Richard Casablancas wearing a plastic nose and false moustache, stacked on top of two other Richard Casablancases in a really big trenchcoat.
Keith also does some shooting, when Clyde takes him duck hunting and leaves his phone unattended near a Mars. But the text messages Keith snoops into put him off the theory that Clyde and Big Dick are behind the bombings.
Instead, Keith realises all the bombs killed people who were sex offenders. Cmon, that’s just Neptune, where everyone’s on the registry! But he decides it means Nicole is the bomber, taking revenge on rapists.
Other tenuous bombing suspect of the week: Weevil! He’s receiving money from Clyde to sabotage the town, according to Sea Sprite Shitter Juan when Veronica puts the pressure on.
Then for our weekly bomb: this one goes off in Comrade Quack’s! Don’t you dare take our precious Nicole from us, show!!
Someone claiming to be the bomber has sent a note to the police, which keeps the murderheads busy, and forces Mayor Dobbins to streak through town!
Murderhead Carol deduces that the note was written by Richard Casablancas, and to celebrate, she and Penn kiss! But their passion is interrupted by a gross discovery.
Here are some palate cleansers though: Vinnie gets a free jacket, Alonzo and Dodie get into lavender lattes, and Cliff gets a puppy!
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Mr Kiss and Tell, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham:
A young woman has been raped and beaten, and, once again, the Neptune Grand hires Veronica to investigate - only so they don’t get sued for hiring the undocumented worker who has been accused.
But, having cleared him, Veronica keeps going with the case, to get justice for the victim, Grace Manning - that’s right, Meg’s little sister. A decade on from being locked in a closet by her parents, and still having a shit time.
Grace is one of several sex workers who have been attacked by this man, a SPORTSBALL coach. I knew I was right not to trust sportsball!
So Veronica and Leo team up, dress up and wig up to go to Vegas and bust this man. A golf course is involved - sports really come out of this novel badly.
Meanwhile, the sheriff’s election looms into view, with a new candidate, Marcia - with whom Keith has history. Tense sad history, not sexy history. We assume Keith’s pelvis is still knitting itself back together.
Keith and Cliff put together a civil case, Weevil vs the sheriff’s department and their evidence planting. But which does Weevil need more: justice, or to stop his family falling apart?
And Logan is ashore! He and Veronica are having problems, with her overwork and his months-long absences - but, they do get a puppy! And the puppy’s called Pony! A satisfying conclusion to Veronica’s years-long pony joke.
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: The Thousand Dollar Tan Line, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham:
Two months have passed since the movie, and it’s SPRING BREAK! Neptune’s popping off! Until two young women disappear, first Hayley and then Aurora, presumed kidnapped.
The spring breakers stay away and the Neptune Grand is losing business, so the glamorous owner hires Veronica to investigate the disappearances.
This case means Veronica gets back into her sexy disguises to infiltrate house parties run by the heirs to a Mexican drug cartel.
Lamb doesn’t care about the Mexican drug cartel heirs, and neither should you because - BIG TWIST - they have nothing to do with it! They’re just rich guys throwing parties. Turns out, Hayley went off to Bakersfield and was murdered by her jealous boyfriend :(
And, BIG TWIST, Aurora is part of her own kidnapping plot with her scammer dad, who she’s also double-crossing to get the ransom money!
Oh and BIG TWIST, Aurora’s stepmom is LIANNE MARS!
A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
College! Veronica’s outsmarting her professors, driving a new car, and getting drunk. Conveniently, Logan, Wallace, Mac and Dick are also all at Hearst College.
Along with new roommates/friends: bland white boy Piz, who hires Veronica to find all his worldly possessions, which have been stolen by a fake welcome committee; and Parker, who is punished for being a popular and fun-loving sexperson character by becoming the latest victim of the campus rapist who struck in season 2, and is still attacking women and shaving their heads.
Keith, meanwhile, is picking up Cormac Fitzpatrick from prison and taking him to a desert safe house to reunite with Kendall Casablancas.
Being a Fitzpatrick, though, he’s a violent jerk; so, Kendall is murdered, and Keith might be also. TBD.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episode 1: Welcome Wagon, and consider such mysteries as whether Logan is right that it wasn’t possible to make Veronica more butch, why Lucky the dead season 2 janitor has turned up as an academic in a terrrrrible wig, and when Dick Casablancas learned to cartwheel. Plus we reunite with some old friends: tiny jackets, Brigadoon references, the black and white argyle shirt, and an actual Chekhov’s Gun!
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
There have been some rough episodes of Veronica Mars, but this has to be one of the roughest. Aaron fucking Echolls is found innocent on all charges!
And it’s somehow something to do with Veronica getting chlamydia? Fuck! Off!!
Woody Goodman is revealed to be a child abuser, and some of the kids in the bus crash were his victims.
As was Lucky the janitor, who starts firing a gun at the school, then is shot dead.
Terrence Cook is exonerated from the bus crash, but condemned to work at the casino for at least a decade.
Jackie LEAVES without even saying goodbye.
And then, after all that trauma, Veronica has to take finals! It’s too much!
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 21: Happy Go Lucky, delving into such mysteries as to whether Woody could have chosen a more disgusting password, what’s actually supposed to happen in court when someone shouts “Objection!” and why a load of physical evidence, witnesses and legal procedure <<< CHLAMYDIA. We have an XL edition of The LoDown to deal with all the legal bullshit in this episode.
Read MoreA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:
Get ready for some violence: Veronica follows the trail of the murder witness right to the crime family the Fighting Fitzpatricks, and nearly gets an unwanted face tattoo for her trouble.
Plus: Logan is clonked on the head, bundled into a van and masked interrogators play Russian roulette with his body parts - yes, the PCHers are also investigating the murder, in their own way.
Keith’s trying to find the person who is harassing the parents of Marcos, a student who died in the bus crash. Who’s been leaving toy schoolbuses around their home and voice recordings of their dead son?
...that happen to be from their son’s pirate radio show, a cult favourite amongst the kids of Neptune. Psychics on local TV and this, sure.
And Duncan has some dreams about Meg and finally gets round to reading that letter he found in her air vent.
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 8: Ahoy, Mateys!, and delve into such mysteries as pairing chocolate milk with fish sticks, getting cockblocked by your own subconscious, stitches as some kind of badge of honour, Mac’s terrible taste in countercultural radio, and the care and maintenance of ankle tags.
Read MoreVeronica’s BUSY: serving coffee, investigating whether the driver crashed the bus deliberately, and ruining post-coital moments with Duncan.
So Detective Wallace handles a case all by himself, and guess what, it’s all in the hope of winning over the gorgeous but hostile Jackie - played by Tessa Thompson!
Logan fires guns with Mr Casablancas, and has sex with Mrs Casablancas - not at the same time.
Sheriff Lamb sucks SO much that Keith Mars decides to run for sheriff.
Kevin Smith shows up, as an opportunistic convenience store clerk selling bus crash souvenirs.
And a dead body washes up on the beach, on his palm is written VERONICA MARS - drink!
Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 2: Driver Ed, and to probe such mysteries as whether it’s legal for journalists to pose as high school students, whether it’s wise to go to a shooting range with someone if you’re sleeping with their spouse, how many styles they can make Jackie wear at once, and why Duncan would offer to put Veronica on a ‘strict Nelly diet’ because she’s been listening to Radiohead.
Read More
