Posts tagged school
Season 2 Investigations Investigations transcript

LATOYA FERGUSON: The amount of things I never thought I'd have to care about in a TV show that are in this season. Incorporation. Airplane hangars. At least like when The OC did all its real estate plots, it was interesting. But like... Jesus, incorporation.

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VMI 2.22 Not Pictured transcript

HZ: I don't acknowledge dream sequences. You know this.
JOY: Ha, yeah.
HZ: Well, I don't acknowledge this one. Fucking Lianne Mars? I hadn't missed her, I'd forgotten all about her.
JOY: Yeah, I kind of forgot that she ever existed.
HZ: But she's bearing laundry, because, in this dream, she's the perfect mother - as in domestic, and just sort of smiling gently at everyone else who's more interesting. She's got a much bigger house...
ALANNA BENNETT: Yes.
HZ: ...and a pancake breakfast, and Keith's in sheriff's uniform, and Veronica body-shames herself.
ALANNA BENNETT: Yes, because she's still the Disney popular girl, and gullible. I like that in her head it's like, "I wish that I were still this, like, gullible little princess."
JOY: Ha! The good old days.

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Season 2, transcriptVMI PodVeronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Alanna Bennett, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Principal Clemmons, Van Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B. Duncan, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Adam Bitterman, Curly Moran, Ken Marino, Vinnie Van Lowe, Lilly Kane, Amanda Seyfried, Alicia Fennel, Erica Gimpel, Lianne Mars, Corinne Bohrer, Corny, Jonathan Chesner, Peter Ferrer, Luke Fryden, Marcos Oliveres, Jeremy Ray Valdez, Manning parents, Mannings, Stewart Manning, bus crash, murder, child abuse, suicide, New York, Paris, graduation, Neptune Grand, explosions, bombs, planes, chlamydia, Loganica, dream sequences, retcons, parties, sex, rotatokissing, briefcases, Little League, Sharks, Mr Lee, lawyers, incorporation, glasses, The Wig, sexpeople, bacon, taxidermy, Quail Creek Lodge, hunting, Weevil’s grandma, arrests, pony, NYC, Harry Styles, Madison Square Garden, Sugarhill Gang, babies, children, Brooklyn, tasers, tasing, Woody’s Burgers, Comic Sans, Hart Hanson, Dilemma, Nelly, Kelly Rowland, shower curtains, sandcastles, Gilmore Girls, college, Phoenix Land Trust, airport, JFK, rewards, pelvic wreckage
VMI 2.21 Happy Go Lucky transcript

JOY: I was so busy thinking about Weevil and math together.
HZ: Yeah? That doing it for you?
JOY: Yes. Two of my favourite things, Weevil and algebra. Math that I understand.
HZ: I didn't know you were into algebra. There's so much I still have to learn about you.
JOY: I mean, it's not like my passion, but if I had a workbook right now...
HZ: You could algebra the shit out of it.
JOY: I would absolutely do it to take the edge off anything to distract me from the yawning void just outside of my peripheral vision.

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transcript, Season 2VMI PodVeronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Jackie Cook, Tessa Thompson, Mac, Cindy Mackenzie, Tina Majorino, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Steve Guttenberg, Woody Goodman, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Tommy Dohanic, Lucky, James Jordan, Terrence Cook, Jeffrey Sams, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Leonard Lobo, Gil Birmingham, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Ethan Lavoie, John Prosky, Gay Storm, Annie Hinton, Don Worley, Hart, Mike Gaarde, bus crash, murder, death, assault, shooting, guns, blanks, child abuse, sexual abuse, sexual offenses, statutory rape, trauma, courtroom, trials, court cases, lawyers, shitty lawyers, jury, prosecution, defense, attorneys, judges, legal procedure, alibis, evidence, subpoena, Leo D’Amato, Duncan Kane, Marcos Oliveres, Peter Lilly Kane, Lilly Kane’s murder, bullshit, chlamydia, Thumper, Thumper’s murder, math, algebra, quadratic equations, veterans, war, People Magazine, Sexiest Man Alive, Kane scholarship, chia pets, press, batboys, passwords, cars, keying cars, lighting, computers, finals, exams, tests, Mannings, accidental porn, masks, catcher’s mask, bleach, email, MySpace, incorporation, objection, breakfast, mugshots, private plane, flight plans, monologuing, immunity, witnesses, shitnesses, POWER KEITH
VMI 2.20 Look Who's Stalking transcript

JOY: Now that you've agreed to go to prom with me, Helen, but prom has been cancelled, could I interest you in a trip to the batting cages? A little batting cage romance?
HZ: It sounds a little sporty, Jenny.
JOY: A little drive through the Taco Bell drive-through? A little visit to Dairy Queen for some Blizzards afterwards? That's on par with prom.
HZ: Alright, yeah. What's the dress code?
JOY: Yeah, what is the dress code?
HZ: Are you going to get sick eating dairy? That would be very sad.
JOY: I would order a Blizzard and just stare at it in solidarity with you.
HZ: That's terrible. Could we go somewhere where you could eat the things?
JOY: OK, well, we'll just have to see what's near the batting cages, I guess everything kind of hinges on that.
HZ: Oh, so we still have to go to the batting cages?
JOY: Sorry, yes.

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VMI 2.19 Nevermind the Buttocks transcript

JOY: Weevil's locker number is 333, half of 666.
HZ: Is this like a bat signal for you, Jenny?
JOY: Yeah, hell yeah. If Weevil's locker number was 420, or 69, or 489 which is 420 plus 69...
HZ: Is that the ultimate?
JOY: That'd be pretty tight, but 333 is also worth noting.

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VMI 2.18 I Am God transcript

HZ: There's quite a lot of setup this episode for this guy Lucky, but we see him for about 30 seconds, so just don't peak too soon.
JOY: Chekhov's... veteran?
HZ: Chekhov's really saving him for another play. "You know what, I'll seed Lucky in the first act of Uncle Vanya, but I won't get on to him until Three Sisters."
JOY: I'm laughing like I have any idea what Chekhov wrote and in what order, but I don't.
HZ: Anyone? Anyone?

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transcript, Season 2VMI PodVeronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Meg Manning, Alona Tal, Mrs Murphy, Linda Castro, Rebecca James, Miss James, Paula Marshall, Tommy Dohanic, Lucky, James Jordan, Cassidy Casablancas, Beaver, Kyle Gallner, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Martin Yu, Mr Wu, Cervando, Max Arcinieda, Angie Dahl, Kayla Ewell, Jeremy Ray Valdez, Marcos Oliveres, Van Clemmons, Clemmons, Principal Clemmons, Duane Daniels, Betina, Blythe Auffarth, Rhonda, Audra J Morgan, Michelle, Samantha Klein, Peter, Luke Fryden, Maureen, Vanessa Chester, Natalie, Skyler Shaye, Keith’s romances, dates, dating, Neptune Onlyplace, generalised anxiety disorder, anxiety, bus crash, flashbacks, dreams, dreaming, dream sequences, Woody Goodman, eggs, Ahoy Mateys, Kane Scholarship, physics, murder, Weevil Navarro, Stanford, college, Richard Casablancas, insurance, cars, Liam Fitzpatrick, party bus, gay, LGBTQ+, Whole 30, Cupid, Switched At Birth, Henry James, The Golden Bowl, literature, Chekhov, House of Wax, Paris Hilton, The Simple Life, Fleabag, voicemail, farmers, farmersonly.com, Corvette, Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, George Costanza, Bozoville, finals, cheating, bleach, jeans, some bullshit
VMI first birthday celebrations transcript

JOY: Honestly, this very special episode has everything. It's got bears from the country. It's got owls in the city. It's got a continent-roaming horse. Multiple dogs named Frank. The whole thing.

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VMI 2.17 Plan B transcript

JOY: Why on god's green earth does this show refuse to show me anybody doing reps that I would like to watch doing reps? Why is this our fate? Here's a list of people that could do reps at any point on the show: Wallace; Cliff...
HZ: Cliff would be hilarious. Cliff would do it in like a white undershirt and some massive blue boxers and black business socks. And a tie.
JOY: And that would be fine. I would like to watch Lilly Kane do some reps...
HZ: Oh, yeah. Alicia doing reps.
JOY: Oh hell yes. Weevil...
HZ: I don't think I'd want to see Weevil doing reps. It just doesn't seem like his thing, like he'd rather be alone whilst he's exercising.
JOY: Oh, OK, well whatever Weevil wants, obviously.

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VMI 2.16 The Rapes of Graff transcript

JOY: Has anyone ever puked on you in a romantic setting?
HZ: No.
JOY: Good. Hey, that's good.
HZ: Have they puked on you in a romantic setting?
JOY: Hell, no, I don't think so.
HZ: Don't think I've been puked on. A friend of mine at school puked in a jigsaw box at my house. That was unfortunate.
JOY: Ugh.
HZ: And two different friends puked in my mother's wellington boots.
JOY: What? On different occasions?
HZ: Yes.
JOY: Or like one per boot, at different times?
HZ: Different times.
JOY: Why? Why there?
HZ: I don't think you can really accurately find out from someone that is drunk enough to puke into a boot.
JOY: OK. Was the second person aware that the first person had done it at an earlier point? Was it a copycat puking? Or no?
HZ: I don't think, again, if you're in a state where you're going to puke in a boot, that you have the presence of mind to think, "Oh, I'll make it a callback."
JOY: OK, OK, OK. You might be surprised, Helen, what people are capable of.

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VMI 2.15 The Quick and the Wed transcript

JOY: Here's some stuff that we find out that I don't care about: she had her ex-boyfriend's name tattooed on her ass after two weeks, then she got it removed, which took six weeks, so that the guy that she's getting married to would never see it, and also one of them lost her cellphone last night, and there was a guy creeping around them at the Happy Horseshoe. Here is what we find out that I do care about: they went to an all-male revue called "Packaged Meat".
HZ: Ew.
JOY: Ha! Helen! Get on my level. This is so great. This is wonderful news.
HZ: I suppose, any of the genders in revue, I'm a little uncomfortable with them.
JOY: Well, I guess this is where you and I, our paths diverge, and I take the winding road into the strippergram forest, searching for elusive woodland hunks to pop out, being granted modesty by strategically-placed fig leaves and branches, and that's just not what you're after.
HZ: It's quite the bucolic scene of male nudity and moss and branches and things.
JOY: Come on!

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VMI 2.14 Versatile Toppings transcript

JOY: When Lamb is clearly going to be difficult, and Keith hands him the CD to essentially blackmail him, Lamb crosses his fingers and says, "I really hope it's the new Big & Rich." Helen, do you know, are you familiar with the musical artists Big & Rich?
HZ: I'm not, Jenny. Should I?
JOY: Well, they are, I think, best-known for their country smashola ‘Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy’.
HZ: That doesn't work.
JOY: That's about sex. ‘Have sex with a cowboy.’
HZ: "Don't fuck a horse," OK, what a message.
JOY: Listen! You have to hold two layers in your mind at the same time. "Don't ride a horse regular. Instead, fuck a cowboy."
HZ: "Take a cowboy to the races, and see if they can handle the jumps"?
JOY: Just make sure you only have one headphone in at any time.
HZ: I just don't think this analogy works, Jenny.
JOY: Helen, I feel like you're missing the spirit of modern American country music.

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VMI 2.13 Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough transcript

HZ: Jackie's shivering. It's so cold, this is so wrong. And then fucking Madison is there missing the balls, so she just goes over to the lever and she's like, "I told you to stay home," and dunks Jackie with the lever, which is so horrible. And the teacher who wouldn't let Wallace misthrow balls is just like, "Yeah, whatever, sure." And Veronica has a face of concern. But does she do anything? No.
JOY: You know, Helen, in my elementary school, we had a summer festival thing where our principal was in the dunk tank, and I, some way or another, won the privilege of being the first person to get to throw balls to try to dunk my principal, and I missed all three times. And then I did what Madison did, but in a fun way. But watching Madison do this really made me call into question my fifth grade mentality.
HZ: Isn't the point there that the hierarchy is temporarily suspended or subverted?
JOY: Yes.
HZ: Whereas this, it's someone in a superior position in pretty much every way in society being a real shit to someone else.
JOY: Thank you for making me feel better, Helen.
HZ: Yeah.
JOY: About me, not about this episode.

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VMI 2.12 Rashard and Wallace Go To White Castle transcript

HZ: Uncle Monte doesn't want Rashard to be consorting with girls in case they're leeches, and hits him in the dick to prove his point.
JOY: Helen, has your uncle ever hit you in the dick?
HZ: I've only met my uncle about eight times, and no, he didn't hit me in the dick. He taught me how to make a compass with a piece of string and a pin.
JOY: That's pretty tight. That's way cooler than hitting your nibling in the dick.
HZ: I don't think I've hit any of my niblings in the dick so far.
JOY: Good on you, Helen.

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transcript, Season 2VMI PodVeronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook, Terrence Cook, Detective Weevil, Detective Logan, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, PCHers, Thumper, James Molina, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Chicago, Rashard Rucker, hit and run, cover-up, basketball, Fitzpatricks, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Marcello Thedford, Super Huge Deputy, Liam Fitzpatrick, Robert Fitzpatrick, James Joseph O'Neil, Annie Campbell, Molly Fitzpatrick, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Cassidy Casablancas, Kyle Gallner, Jane, BJ Britt, Uncle Monte Rucker, Sterling Macer Jr, Nathan Woods, Cress Williams, Guy Abruti, Curtis Anderson, Neptune Grand, church, confession, confessional, props, books, Inga, evidence, club, White Castle, limo, fraternity, frat, party, parties, karaoke, Britt Daniel, Spoon, Lars, Curly Moran, smelly bus, Neptune Onlyplace, toga parties, journalists, clubs, tie dye, boobs, uncles, drive through, burgers, cool girl, phones, cellphones, mobile phones, switcheroo, hollow books, Bill O’Reilly, tapes, interviews, priests, catholicism, hymnal, Miss Dumas, rat, dead rat, Woody Goodman, cobbler, pantomime horse, costumes, panto
VMI 2.11 Donut Run transcript

HZ: They could have saved themselves so much time by following legal procedure.
LO DODDS:: Well, even, like they could have made it dramatic, but like why - why is there kidnapping?
HZ: Well, for making it dramatic, Lo. I think you answered your own question there.

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Season 2, transcriptVMI PodVeronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, Detective Weevil, Detective Logan, Felix’s murder, Felix Toombs, PCHers, Duncvonica, Duncan Kane, Teddy Dunn, Meg’s baby, Duncan’s baby, Lilly Manning, Faith Manning, Manning parents, babies, Mexico, Ken Marino, Vinnie Van Lowe, Celeste Kane, Lisa Thornhill, Kendall Casablancas, Charisma Carpenter, Lucy Lawless, FBI, Don Lamb, Sheriff Lamb, Michael Muhney, Deputy Sacks, Brandon Hillock, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, CS Keys, Dick Casablancas, Ryan Hansen, Marcello Thedford, Super Huge Deputy, Neptune Grand, donut, doughnuts, border patrol, Mexican border, kidnapping, kidnap, custody, The Virgin Suicides, Air, soundtracks, breaking up, break-ups, Al Green, The Hollies, shoes, Bootsy, Hector, Patrick Wolff, Planet Zowie, Chekhov’s things, Chekhov’s public breakup, Chekhov’s vacancy, Chekhov’s backpackers, Chekhov’s fortune cookie, Paula Cole, Dawson’s Creek, lineup, jewellery, jewelry, earrings, diamonds, fonts, Bobby Brown, Whitney Houston, long ball, bugged pens, Vinnie Special, callbacks, wigs, disguises, cars, Cupid, Trevor Hale, Chicago, Rashard Rucker, hit and run, cover-up, basketball, Fitzpatricks, Lost, Backup, Sean Friedrich, Kevin Sheridan, passwords, Boat Duncan, toilet office, pizza bagel, Ay Chihuahuas, Xena Warrior Princess
VMI 2.10 One Angry Veronica transcript

JOY: Here's the thing: why make an episode of television made mostly out of the worst thing that can happen to you, as a citizen of the United States?

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VMI 2.09 My Mother, the Fiend transcript

JOY: Have I told you that my mom used to save birds in the freezer? If a bird would fly into one of our windows and die, she would save it in the freezer for some reason.
HZ: Was she hoping that they would be reborn after three days?
JOY: Possibly? When I was quite small our dog killed a baby raccoon and I was really upset about it, and so then, as a response, my mom had the raccoon taxidermied.
HZ: No!
JOY: For my birthday.

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VMI 2.08 Ahoy, Mateys! transcript

HZ: She's angry at Logan as well for carrying a gun, because she's scared that he's gonna get killed. He's in a reckless mood. He was like, "It's all right, the gun's not loaded, and it was a present from Dick's dad." Like, what a comfort.
JOY: First of all, why is Mr Casablancas running around just doling out guns? He's like, "Oh, it's Halloween, trick or treat, here’s a fucking firearm."
HZ: Well he was probably like, "Logan, you're like an extra son to me. Have one of my precious guns." They had a good time at the range. Also maybe he was like, "This is not going to fit through the shredder, you'd better have it."

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VMI 2.07 Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner transcript

JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: But if you had to choose a favourite Ninja Turtle...
HELEN ZALTZMAN: I don't know what their different personalities are, Jenny.
JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: OK, let me just run it down for you really quick.
HELEN ZALTZMAN: Which one's the Logan and which one's the Duncan?
JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: Right. Exactly. Well, Duncan is sort of the Leonardo. Michelangelo is like Dick. He's like, "Wazzup?" And then Raphael is like Logan because he has a lot of anger issues. And then Donatello, do we have like a recurring super smart person on this show? I guess Mac would be the closest? Mac is Donatello. Cool. Nailed it. And then Keith is like Splinter. And then Mr Echolls is like Shredder. And then all the one episode 09ers are the foot soldiers, the Foot Clan. Cool. Thanks for listening.
HELEN ZALTZMAN: Are all shows truly the same?
JENNY OWEN YOUNGS: All shows are one show.
HELEN ZALTZMAN: It's the same characters, but different shells.

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VMI 2.06 Rat Saw God transcript

JOY: What is it about people and twins and threesomes? You ever think about that, Helen?
HZ: Not in a desirous way. I feel like it's a bit disrespectful of the family relationship between them.
JOY: The family relationship, the autonomy… The mystery of twins, and the pain and struggles that we shall never know as two non-twins.
HZ: I have nieces who are twins, but they are ten, so it feels like not the time to talk to them about it.

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transcript, Season 2VMI PodVeronica Mars, Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, Enrico Colantoni, Keith Mars, Logan Echolls, Jason Dohring, Wallace Fennel, Percy Daggs III, Weevil Navarro, Francis Capra, Neptune, California, Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman, VMI, television, TV, recap, review, drama, teen, teenage, school, high school, mystery, detective, PI, private detectives, Marshmallows, cases, crime, law, season 2, bus crash, Gia Goodman, Krysten Ritter, Ryan Hansen, Dick Casablancas, Woody Goodman, Steve Guttenberg, Felix Toombs, Brad Bufanda, Sheriff Lamb, Don Lamb, Michael Muhney, Cliff McCormack, Daran Norris, Clarence Wiedman, Christopher B. Duncan, PCHers, Abel Koontz, Christian Clemenson, sheriff election, sheriff, Felix’s murder, Amelia DeLongpre, Aaron Echolls, Harry Hamlin, Kim Stolz, ANTM, cameos, Joss Whedon, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Rat Saw God, Rob Thomas’s novels, guest stars, necklaces, Naked and Afraid, boaters, Ibiza, ice machine, murder, death, money, extortion, disappearance, foam, foam parties, Mike, Dawn, Kane Software, Clarence Wiedman’s office, blazers, German, Tracey Walter, where’s Wallace, EnriqueFreaque69, Carlos Mercado, marked bills, Las Vegas, road trips, Sally Field, favours, favors, Panty Club for Homos, tattoos, dogs in hats, McGruff the Crime Dog, anthropomorphic dogs, Weevil’s grandma, arson, Echolls house, Chekhov’s things, Chekhov’s argyle, cigars, shivs, shanks, jail, evidence, compromising evidence, rats, Palm Pilot
VMI 2-05 Blast from the Past transcript

JOY: I just googled ‘Celebrity Boners and Gaffes’ -
HZ: No, no — no Jenny! Delete all the cookies!
JOY:There is a seemingly endless list of articles from mostly BuzzFeed, In Touch, some other websites and news outlets. Here are some sample article titles: "Celebrities who've had erections during sex scenes". "31 celebrity bulges that went hard in 2015". "The 21 most important celebrity bulges of all time". "Boner alert! Nine celebrities who have had boners in public". "Boner alert! Make America bulge again".
HZ: Argh.
JOY: "13 celebrity dudes who aren't afraid to show off their goods". I've googled it, so you don't have to.
HZ: Thanks, Jenny.
JOY: Ugh. You're welcome.
HZ: How do you know I hadn't already? (I hadn't.) So no gaffes, just boners?
JOY: No gaffes, just boners.
HZ: Gaffes are less popular than boners, I guess.

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